What Would You Like to Learn in My New Program?
15 October 2008 | 19:50 | Interpersonal Relationships | 92 CommentsAs you have probably heard, over the last two years I have been developing a new program entitled: “Communication Secrets of Powerful People”. I have great news in saying the program is basically finished. It is jammed-packed with information on becoming a charismatic person who changes people’s minds.
Whether you are married, single, a manager, a parent, a student… whatever you are, the program will make you a powerful individual who communicates in a way that builds a strong connection with people.
At the moment I am putting the finishing touches on the program, which is where you come in.
I want to make sure I’ve covered everything about charisma and persuasion in this new program. I want you to be a powerful person who is in control of your relationships with people important in your life.
Please explain below the biggest challenge you have in these areas of your life. If it helps, feel free to tell a story of your situation to help explain the challenge. Provide as much detail as you can.
Simply use the form below to send your comment. Thanks in advance for your help!
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I'm creator of a highly praised program called "Communication Secrets of Powerful People" program. You can read about it here and order it here.
Here are few of my topics to be covered:
1. overcoming natural shyness especially when meeting new people
2. overcoming “what-will-people-think-about-me” problem
Thanks Paulina and others who have emailed me their comments. I accidentally closed the comments for this post, so I’ve received a lot of comments from people via email, but you can now post again.
Hi Joshua,
1. I would learn to learn more on how to fit in with intellectuals, I have many of them and at times i end up feeling out of place during our conversations.
2.How to be more confident during Job interviews.
Cheers
What i earnestly need to know
1. Facts to consider in order to understand and tolerate human beings no matter the gravity of their offence so i can live peacefully with evry1.
2. How do i cope with heartbreak? and move on hopefully.
Thanks
hey
i would like to know how to overcome being shy when talking to people and how to attract them to you and grab their attention?
thankyou
Hello,
I’m interested in the following:
1. overcoming a trembling voice while speaking in public
2. making eye contact with the audience
3. breaking the ice techniques
Good luck
I WILL LIKE TO KNOW THE BEST WAYS TO TOLERATE PEOPLE AND HOW TO LEAVE AN IMPACT ANYWHERE I AM (IN A WAY THAT I WILL BE MISSED WHEN I AM NOT THERE)
There are two points I’d like to have in your program:
1. Charisma can be ‘built’, it is not (just)a gift!
2. How we can persuade with less talking
And remember, nothing is impossible… Thank you.
The best response under attack from somebody (Wife blaming, interviewer hard questions, unsatisfied customer, …. ) to end the discussion winning.
Thanks Joshua. Some people can create humour and take over the floor. Once they are established in a group, they are likely to influence the group to make inappropriate decisions. How to avoid such a situation?
Hello Joshua
i like to know how to have powerful vocality
Hi Joshua,
Please tell me how to overcome nervous, because I usually become very very nervous especially when I have to speak in the class. It will be more if I have to speak in front of the class. My voice becomes vibrate and it will make me more shy.
But I don’t have problem in other moments except in the class or in the formal gathering. Is it because of traumatic experience? I have tried many times to cope with this problem, but so far it is still there.
Hi,
I expect to be more confident in the presentation by sound communication.
The vocabulary or the language should not be a barrier to stop me to perform well in an interview, presentation and business communications
how to attract people’s attention and maintain it to the end of your presentatio
I’m interested in the following:
1. overcoming a trembling voice while speaking in public
2. making eye contact with the audience
3. breaking the ice techniques
Good luck
Dear Sir/Madam,
I want to develop my communication skill since good communication is mandator for every field work, friendship, familly… and in addition I suffer for my communication with my collegue at work they didn’t understand my internal just they judge my from outside. I belive that I am not like what they pictured me so I want to be loved by people and I want to have good relationship with people.
Hi Joshoua,
Excellent project and thank you for this opportunity.
What I find challenging is to maintain my confidence before or after a ‘more confident’ speaker (public speaking or in a group of friends)
Also, how does one move:
from admiration->envy->jealousy
to
from jealousy->envy->admiration!!!
While on the stand, how to stop thinking and start listening. What makes us want to defend our case, get our answer ready, before we even hear the complete question.
Hi Joshoua,
I guess the most challenging thing in good communication is inherent shyness.Lack of confidence is direct consequence of shyness,most of the peope are not able to share their valuable ideas as they feel shy or doesn’t feel confidant.
i think most of the challenges have already been covered above but i can tell you a tip on how to persuade someone:
- you just have to find the interest of person you are talking to, and then use it in a positive way to persuade. Meaning you should relate your idea to their interest.
How to handle a realtionship with a passive agressive person – the experts so there is no cure so get out asap! Do you agree? Most experts say it a result of education but I am convinced it is genetic as I first discovered it in my husband and then soon realised his mother and my son have the same disorder. Help please?! Thanks!
Hello Joshua,
My main challenge when address people in public, is how to handle negative or even abusing responses, without losing the string of my thoughts.
Hi Joshua,
I would like to ..1)avoid thinking too much of myself when present in group.That negaive thinking lingers smoewhere in my mind and in turn affects my confident level.
2)how to say no when it is required t say no.
i bless the name of the lord wen i stumble into this site it has indeed improve my communication skills and help me in relating with people but i found it defficult to initiat reconciliation speech must expecialy if im on tje offencive side.
meeting people is nice to me but i find it so hard to explain myself in words that involve deep emotional feelings within me.
I could not address a large crowd bcos of the fear i always have.
How to develop my interpersonal relationship skill to hostile, abusive and self-righteous boss?
How to talk nicely with your neighbor who is jealous and hostile to you?
Thanks and more power to your endeavours….
Hello Joshua!
thank you for this program and im glad to be apart of it. thank you also for the reports that you tirelessly and consistently send us. i have for long known myself for having poor communication skills. i always thought it is a personal problem that i would never get solution to. However, my attitude changed from the tym i became apart of this program. im however finding it hard to overcome fear for public speaking. if u could offer us with some tips of overcoming it. God bless, Josh.
Hello Joshua!
1. I frequently have very good ideas that I would like to share with people, but find myself unable to transmit them in such a way that they pay attention to me.
2. How do you present ideas that are non-conformist to a group of people who simply wants to get thing done with quickly.
3. How can you improve your voice and tone?
Hi,Joshua.How are you?
I would like to know about managing emotions and dealing with emotions,needs to communicate and how to develop a strong self identity.Thanks for this opportunity.
Hello Joshua,
Thanks a lot from sending the valuable artciles from time to time which helps me to internalise on lot of things and issues. i would like to know how to tolerate aggressive people without us getting succumbed to their whims and how to give unconditional acceptance.Reach a state of detached attachment with patience and serenity as the nature
Thanks Joshua for sharing your work. For me, 2 things:
First, I want to learn about gaining trust and confidence from people who, for one reason or another, already hold strong negative pre-conceived perceptions about you. Normally, there is some historical baggage involved, for example, jealousies or bad feelings from past interactions, which make these people to tend to strongly negate and reject you or anything you say or do. Basically, they do not even give you a chance to set one foot in the door.
Second is about learning to be aware of our own various emotional states versus the other party’s emotional states in social interactions and occasions. More important is how best to handle the situation, particularly when the emotional states between the two parties clash.
Thanks again for sharing all your hard work, and most of all, for being kind.
All the best.
Thanks very much Joshua,
It is very helpful. Knowing peoples character, nature the way they react, I am a bit hesitant to approach them. Seek help to overcome this.
Well Joshua i want to know of how to thicken the substance in me what some people call balancing self regard on self esteem, i believe it will then be able to advance my ability to appeal and persuade people
Hi, joshua
i have a problem with trembling voice while speaking and in particular to the public.
Another thing, how can i overcome fear during job interview and maybe gain confidence.
Hello Josh,
I am peter, I just want to know what to do acquire stability in thought and to control emotion rather giving room to pressure.
Olá Joshua, I guess I am a bit late to participate with some of my questions.. I will ask anyway, might get lucky. So here it goes:
- How to turn a boring subject into a pleasent/interesting subject to your audience? (I´m working on adults education: long life learning);
- In what moment can you forsee a storm coming in (argues)?;
- How to prevent everyone talking at the same time?
Thank you for your work and good luck to you.
Rita
Just wanna know how to keep people interested in you and wanna do what you ask them to do.
Simply i want to know how to be interesting enough for people to see you attractive and takes you serious.
thanks for the previous insight.
Hi Josh
1. How to continue communication to people after a rejection from the audience, or how to exit in such circumstances without appearing to run away
2. How to communicate a “NO” and still remain friends
Hi Joshua,
Thankyou so much for your informative and educative texts. Yes,people have said everything but I have this problem;
”When someone offends me,I am not able to tell them but instead I keep quiet and get stressed”. What is it and why?.
Hi Joshua,
Keep up 4 the good u have been doing 4 us all. may u live much longer that we enjoy ua work more.
I would like to know how to get rid of inferior complexity. how to feel at the top of things even when things are not on the right track. How to improve my comunication skills espcially how to get rid of mother tongue influence.
All the best. Am waiting for that program.
Excellent guys! It gives me real insight into what you are after.
I’ll put up a page soon to show you what the program gives you. Nearly everything mentioned here is now in the program; apart from a trembling voice and general vocality. I am really surprised at how it all integrates nicely together in the program’s 12 distinct principles because of the difficulties’ similarities.
Please keep listing your challenges.
Hi Joshua,
i would also want to know how not to get stuck in one emotional state for a long time and reach a state of equilibirium. looking fwd for the article.. Thanks
hi,
I WANT TO KNOW, “HOW TO MAKE MYSELF COMFORTABLE IN A MEETING, COMMUNICATE WITH BOSS OR OHTERS WITHOUT FEAR”.
Charisma and persuasion can ‘built’ me more confidence and improve my communication skills also expect to be more confident in the presentation by sound communication to overcome nervous.
I want to know how to get my boyfriend to spend more time with me. How do i communicate this to him without him feeling defensive
I consider myself as a decisive but, soft hearted, lenient and a tolerant person. As a middle level manager in an organisation, I see its negatives and positives: For instance,
Negative:
I was too forgiving, that a subordinate of mine repeated a small mistake twice;
Positive:
3 of my staff wanted to prepare for a church program (not related to work) and I gave them an extra hour off for a day. The following week, they went out for 30 minute lunches the whole week. I did not even ask.
Sometimes I felt that I need to change, other times I felt that I am the “best manager.” Yes, I have read books on how to be an effective manager, but it seems that I sometimes do not want to change the way I manage my staff. This may be seen from a parent/child relationship.
Joshua, there may be people in the same situation as I am. Maybe the new book can look at how to be caring, considerate, yet decisive – not letting emotions, attitudes and attachments influence decision making.
Harvey
1. Fear of crowds of people make me talk fast ending up not being authoritative.
2. I fear that i will say the wrong thing or be unappealing and end up being a laughing stalk. I therefore end-up not expressing myself.
3. I usually feel others are better than I am hence I lose confidence in expressing myself however good I am in the subject matter.
Hi …
I work as a demonstrator (educator) in the applied medical sciences faculty … I’m asking if I can get the students respect “charismatically”
Thanks in advance
Well this is really a nice program.
I like the saying “one you talk you let others see your mind” the problem here is with those who are in silent mode who to guage them and let us not consider the body language over here…Best of luck for all.
hello sir
i would know how to be attractive while i’m talking
Hi Josh,
Tq v mch 4 yr constant flow of useful articles. All the best to you, and u sure has demonstrated one way of communicating and influencing via yr consistent effort. 1)How do you communicate to influence goodness and for the other party to trust you and tell you the truth when you know very well that the other party is telling you lies after lies?
fear of taking up responsibility position. fear i will heart broken in a relationship. my first relationship was in 2006 Dec.i want to be able to analysize situation better not just seenin it from one direction.But am improving on it. thanks and i wish all the best on our write up.
im a big fan of u.please include in your book tips on public speaking,i think i have a big problem with that…..
Hi, Joshua,
Your articles is valuable for me to practice it in my daily life and works. I’m very appreciated if you can give very specific advice or suggestion o how to:
1. Make my staff feel the tasks that givento them is very important to finish in time.
2. Give instruction to my sub-ordinate in very release situation ( may be in some laughing, enjoyable and friendly) but very firm and make them have to finish it as soon as possible.
3. I think, I’m a serious person and not easy to believe other people 100%. And I also can’t accept who are not serious in work. How to overcome this matter or this is normal?.
4. How to overcome the saturated moment?.
.
Do you have articles in brain gym. Would you share with me?.
Thank you very much.
i see my self smart, hard worker, trying to be more productive. The business language is English which is my second language.
Through my years of experience, here my negatives:
1. I see people do not understand me from my first talk and I need to repeat or rephrase my intention. I know my English is not excellent but comparing to pronunciation of others I see my self much better. Sometime, i excuse people because I failed to put things in simple straightforward sentences or for not knowing a better word or phrase to express my intention.
2. When in group discussion, I find my self more listener (10% or less to speak)
3. When I speak I do not have an attention and or acceptance as others
4. Even if my case is very legitimate, I feel that people present their case as a strong case. I refer this sometime because (1) I give my story in short (2) give more room to have their story. Also I felt, people then read me that hard minded as I do not agree with them.
5. Also people who I serve see me more creating difficulties than solving problems.
6. I do not see my self as a person who group love and accept quickly. People would need quite sometime to understand how I work and my intentions and long vision to have some acceptance.
7. I find my self always trying to escape from face communication to avoid not being understood. In lieu I come up with tools that can keep up progress and transfer info.
Dear Joshua,
As a fellow communicator I am looking forward, with enthusiasm, to your forthcoming work – “Communication Secrets of Powerful People†– and am sure I will have much to learn from it.
Wishing you still greater success,
Kanan
Hello Sir,
Waiting for Your coming work “Communiction Secrets of Powerful People”.
Me cannot commnicate on the spot but ideas to generate in my mind but no use as the time has already passed.
On positive side me very optimistic, hardwrkg,creative, can be frank in my speaking.
Most important go very deeply to think of any issue.
Also when communicating with frndz jus do it but than feel i should have not spoekn it like tht or should hve done this way etc……………
Hi,
thanks for telling us,
i want to know about how to meet with strange people, how to act them how to continue our communication with them.
thanks.
rstanikzai@hotmail.com
Hello Joshua!
thank you for this program and im glad to be apart of it. thank you also for the reports that you tirelessly and consistently send me all time.
Blessed you always,
Tikky
hi J.U
there are a couple of things that i’d like to comment on
1. How not to get defensive in an arguement
2. How to make somebody realize they are in the wrong without offending them
3. In relationships, workplace or personal, there are certain expectations that v have from one another, right? so how to make the other person see when his/her behaviour is hurting you and how to make them see that your expectations aren’t unjustified without earning labels like ‘emotional freak’, ‘cry-baby’, ’sentimental fool’, ‘naive’ etc from them!!!
Hi Josh
I often face some hesitation while speaking in public or more specifically in a class. I want to remove this hesitation and be more confident.
Thanx
Hie Joshua,
I really would like to know how to start an intellectual conversation and keep it going.
Most of the times im left with nothing to say or i keep thinking what to say once the person is done talking.
I would also like to know how to persuade with less talking.
Hi Josh,
Am working in partnership with an elder.Of late have noticed he is corrupt and does things behind my back.i need to do away with him since he does very little and he requested to partner in my company-please give me the best tips to apply not to hurt and not to be rude to this old man.NB he is 30 Years older.I need courage and strength to face him.
Mathews.
Kenya.
well my name is sammy and there is this problem that i have been experiencing for some time now.is about approaching women but i find it very difficult to do i dont know what to say to a girl when i met her on the way and secondly i am also very shy when it comes to women especially in the bed room to naked myself before a lady please help me.
How do I overcome nervousness while speaking in public?
Thankx Joshua for your nice and wonderful emails. I really appreciate your research work. I am lookin forword for your new book. Best of Luck for the future.
My un-solvable questions are,
i)- How to make quick decisions in any situation
ii)- How to lead with positive thinking
Have a nice day
Cheerz
I just having a job interview, and i really left out the room with sad face and disappointment feeling
it was really very embarrasing..!
things does not go the way i expect or want
I try to answer thier questions with confidence but in the middle of my speech i get lost and just stop for a while
I need an advice on how to stay calm and relax in such situation especially job interviews?
Dear Joshua:
I am a newcomer to your website and articles and I am deeply moved at your humbleness and willingness to serve through your God given talents. I wish you God’s richest blessings in your endeavors to help others.
One obstacle that I have to overcome is the fact that I just try too hard with persons in authoritative positions. I believe this stems from the inferiority complex that I struggle with. In an effort to “prove” myself to superiors that I am worthy of either a job position,acknowledgement, or whatever the case may be, I end up “over doing it”. I either talk too much, or my speech takes on an urgency…it’s like I feel if I don’t talk fast and urgent, they are “going to get away”. I end up undermining my experience, talents and abilities. Thank you for your help!
HI, wants to learn how to overcome shyness when talking in public and how to be a leader with self control in every area i may found myself.
hello,
i usually am able to talk in front of a number of people but when i am in the middle of what i am saying and someone yawns or the listening party becomes uninterested i loose all my confidence and end up looking like a fool
secondly i want to know how to be more social coz as i have only recently started studying in a co education system i feel uncomfortable and shy taking to boys and start stuttering a bit
one other obstacle i face is that i cant make quick decisions nor can i judge people’s character esily and end up making the wrong choice and suffer for that
thnx for your wonderful mails am waiting for ur book, keep up the good work
Hi Joush!
Thank you for valuable tips and articles. I whould like to overcome hasitancy in my behavior when speaking in public.
Kind regards!
thank u for ur help…..ur ideas gave me more oportunity to understand human mind …how to deal with poeple confidently….plz give us the right way to practic ur precious ideas thank y
first i wanna thank for all the useful mails.i wanna know how to be a good communicator in a corporate world.because i feel there is more different between college and corporate.i’m a successful communicator in my college.so wanna know what are all the essential things needed for corporate???will you help me???
for some days I am feeling very anxiety, so please let me know how to over come this and be cool in any situation.
Thanks
Hi Joshua,
Very interesting articles.I would like to know how we can be satisfied with our work without getting appreciation from the superiors.In India appreciation comes very rarely but criticism appears very fast.After sincere involvement with work I would surely want to get some good positive comments.Some people get appreciated for nothing as they know how to get along with boss.I being a straight forward person frankly speak out.I need your advice.Thanks.Sps
My comments regarding persuasion, in order to persue other you need to know their keys what type of words they like and then you talk to them in their language.
Also I have question I want to be a good communicator and I don’t know what to do.
Hye,
After taking a initiative, i regret for something why i had taken that step. secondly i always set target for myself & compete with myself instead with others and if i can’t achieve that then i am in a very difficult situation.
1) How can i have emtional control on myself and control nervousness.
2) How to improve my self confident and deal with diffrent situations.
My problem is that I cannot defend my self properly, I always forget what I am going to talk about, and I cannot speak English very well, and that I cannot asy ( No ) to anybody.
I want to subscribe in your programme please.
Hello Joshua,
Please my biggest challenge is that, I get angry quickly and feel shy to associate people I meet the first time. Lest provocation makes me so upset kindly advise and teach how to have confidence in myself.
I struggle most with the following:
1)When i speak faster than my mind
2) Over concern of how people will take of what i am saying
3) Getting a clear idea about what impact my communication has left
I want to overcome my anger, and im not a confident person.
hi i want to know how to control anger and what to do while we make a big mistake and even not having the guts to reveal truth.i really like ur servel views u send me.i m eagerly waiting for ur new program.best of luck
Hi Josh,
I find your posts very helpful. I have a problem of not being able to project myself or my work before others, in the sense, I am not able to “blow my own trumpet”. This makes people think that I do not do anything and as a result, no or very little appreciation comes my way. This seems to be my biggest challenege at my workplace. HELP!!!
Hi Josh
Firstly I would like to congratulate you for your very useful and interesting work and also thank you for your helping hand that you have been extending towards others.
Now coming on to my problems……..
1) I completely tend to mess up things while in a group.This is because I fail to communicate my ideas and also lack the sense of speaking according to the occassion.This has landed me into trouble a lot many times and also made people laugh at me. As a result of not being able to tackle this problem I have eventually stopped speaking to people and stay alone with the exception of two or three friends.
2)when introduced to someone I am just able to say hi and nothing more than that because I hardly understand what to speak and how to build up an impression on that person.
3)I dont relly understand how to react to people who remain friendly in front but are hostile behind.
I would be very glad and really very very thankful if you help me solve even a % of these problems
hi joshua
1-i am very shy and becouse of that i am facing alot of problems .
2-i dont have enough confidence and iwont to avoid these two bad things and how to speak aperefect english.
Hi Joshua,
I’d like to say I’m not shy. Although, if I talk to people in public speach I feel nervous.
I know that feeling because I want to be perfect.
So how can I forget that thing “I mean there is no perfect person”?
That’s really terrible for me.
Thank you so much.
hi, you have really done a great job; more grease to your elbow.
there are two things i would want to learn. Though i am not a shy time, but i smile alot even when it comes to addressing or teaching people. How can i be mean?
secondly,how to speak in the public to people of great personality; irrespective of their status i.e saying their negative part
Thank you
i don’t know how to maintain interesting conversations with people and improve our relationships. moreover, i have difficulty in responding to what they say.
Hello Joshua,
Just wanted to know how better I can gain the trust and confidence of my subordinates. I think they find me not so approachable despite the fact that I am always willing to help anyone, especially at work.
Cheers!
My main proplem is the first 2 minutes when I start my meeting with a goupe of three and more .But It’s ok with one or two person.I’m very practical woman though h’m abit shy so I Like To begin right away with the issue I went to discuss ,and I feel impressed because I know that I should begin with greeting them.
Hi Joshua,
It is no doubt that you have contributed to my public speaking skills through your regular communication write-ups. Big thank you! to you. Please, continue in your good works…
My major challenge is that I find it difficult to face crowd even though I can speak well on a particular topic.
Please, advise me.
hi Joshua, i ve been trying to reply that u are reasonable and intelligent person but am a busy person i do work 14hours a day rarely i ve time to even visit the net.am a composer of imaginary stories,poem, music,articles,and any type of lyrics. i ve been enjoying Ur comm messages it gave me more power to excel in my career, thank u i hope u will keep it up bcos u re marvelous.pls enlightening me more on my career