Improving Our “Signals” and “Beings”

This is a book review of Michael Hall and Bobby Bodenhamer’s Mind-lines: Lines for Changing Minds.

You’ve been to told to see the glass as half full, but how do you do it? Have you ever wondered how your worries, fears, disagreements, interpersonal conflict, anger, and misunderstandings can be reinterpreted so that they empower you; instead of disempowering? L. Michael Hall and Bobby G. Bodenhamer’s Mind-lines will show you exactly how using the magical neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique of reframing. Moreover, the art of reframing is far more powerful than just being positive.

A father sees his son watching television while lying on his bed. The father begins to give his son’s behavior a meaning of “laziness”. As a result, the father starts criticizing his son out of the lazy frame. On the other hand, let’s take a look at another father and son in the same scenario. This other father sees his son watching television while lying on his bed. The father gives his son’s behavior a meaning of “relaxation”.

The premise of reframing is that the world exists with no meaning. “By mind-lines we refer to the lines (the linguistic constructions) that we connect and associate to things that create meaning formulas” says the authors. “By the changing of meaning, our emotions change, as do our behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, health, etc. and our life.” What you see around you means nothing until you give it meaning. By acknowledging that we are the ones who give the world its meaning, we become empowered to transform our world. Learning to reframe gives you the magic to overcome self-limiting beliefs and communicate more effectively in your relationships. The book is helpful for your personal development and relationships with everyone around you as it changes everyone’s felt sense of reality.

In each of us exists what the author’s call a “map”. Our map is our understanding of “reality” that provide us with a direction in this world. The map is only a construct of reality; it is not reality itself. Mind-lines will have you analyzing your map, seeing its many faults, and then helping you construct a map that is more healthier for your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. The same very lines can be used in your communication with others to change their behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, health, and life.

In the fifth edition exists a large 26 reframing techniques. These 26 reframing methods are conceptualized in the meta-model – a model introduced in part one that illustrates how the reframing methods fit together. I found myself slightly overwhelmed at the beginning of the book as the first of four parts focuses on the theory aspect of reframing.

However, once I had finished reading the first part, I realized the foundational material gave me the framework for understanding, and more easily, using the 26 reframing techniques discussed in the second part. When you read this book, if you have a similar experience, don’t let this small hurdle stop you from the power it has to change your life and those who you touch. Neuro-linguistic programming has some complex terminology which means it will take more time to read than your average self-help book, but it is still very understandable and life-changing.

It is a practical book. All 26 reframing techniques are applied to six specific statements plus a few additional statements scattered throughout the chapters. You are definitely encouraged to try and reframe using the specific technique before reading on and comparing your own answer to the authors’ answer. I personally encourage you to apply your self-limiting beliefs to each reframing technique as you read the book and observe the magic that begins taking place in your mind.

To give you an idea of how reframing used and the power it possesses, I’ll give you an example of the eighth reframe, positive prior intention framing. The purpose of positive prior intention framing is that every behavior has a positive intention behind it. There is a hidden positive intent even behind hurtful behavior. A reply using this frame to “I hate it when you treat me badly” would be “It’s good to hear that you want to be treated well. What can I do to treat you better?” This is drastic and powerful change to a reply most people would use, “I don’t treat you badly. You’re the one who is mean to me.”

Here’s an example of the fourteenth reframing technique, criteria and values framing. This reframing techniques puts into perspective what the person deems important. You are giving people, or yourself, motive to change. A reply using this frame to “You’re rude for not washing the dishes” would be “When you tell me I’m rude for not washing the dishes, it hurts me which makes me dislike our relationship. Is our relationship more important than the dishes? Would you prefer to tell me about the need to do the dishes without hurting our relationship?” What a wonderful example of reframing a person’s behavior.

Another interesting aspect of the book is something called a “meta-state”, which is a term that describes a state about a state. For example, you can be angry about being stressed. Our meta-states can get very confusing and multi-layered. Let’s say you experience guilt from hurting your partner. You then “wrap” the guilt with anger by becoming angry about the guilt. The anger leads to depression about the anger. The methods in this book allows you to overpower these “lower levels” with “higher levels” that give you more productivity, efficiency, a better mood, relieve stress, and generally anything else that is beneficial for you.

I have experienced the NLP technique of reframing in changing my own behaviors, moods, fears, etc., as well as helping other people change, to be far more powerful than other NLP techniques like the swish pattern. Knowing how to reframe will give you a skill for life that you can use anywhere at anytime to improve something about you or another person. It is a great book that teaches a great technique.

The six pages straight after the preface and before part one of the book, titled “Mind-lining a Toxic Idea”, is worth a thousand times the book itself. I say this with absolute confidence that reading those six pages will change your life. In those six pages, the 26 reframing techniques are applied to “failure”. The word “failure” will be eliminated from your life for good if you apply the simple reframes, but it doesn’t stop there. The reframes will not only cancel out the bad emotions and thoughts towards failure, but the reframes transform the concept of failure into a power energy source for better behavior, mood, skills, and health. Is living a life absent from seeing yourself as a failure important to you? Imagine the happiness and success you would experience when failure isn’t even a concept in your life?

To wrap this review up, I want to use the mind-line of story-telling. There was a poor illiterate man who lived by himself out in the woods. One day out in the woods he stumbled across a piece of paper. It was written in Chinese with a few strange diagrams that he couldn’t understand so he just through away the paper. Years later a few Chinese tourists were visiting the area and found the same object. With a scream of excitement, the tourists realized they had accidentally stumbled upon an ancient Chinese document. The tourists later sold their discovery to a collector for a large amount of money.

The map which is your understanding of reality can give you far more things than wealth if you no longer ignore it. Learn to alter your map and you empower yourself to change your own, and other people’s behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, and health. I know you want what is best for yourself and your relationships, so I recommend you grab your hands around a copy of Michael Hall and Bobby Bodenhamer’s Mind-lines: Lines for Changing Minds. The little price of the book is nothing when you consider that everything you experience in this world is dependent on how you frame it. You can get your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

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