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How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

5 November 2006 | 0:23 | Attraction, Confidence, Conversation Skills | 50 Comments
How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

Being able to converse with anyone is a great communication skill to possess. But too often starting a conversation is like going to war – and not just for girls talking to guys. Most guys actually experience more fear in starting a conversation than do girls. We want to experience the joy of a great conversation, but what lies ahead of us is an uphill fight as we battle fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and lack of belief – all things that cause us to avoid starting the conversation.

For girls and ladies – of any age – interested in starting a conversation with a guy they like, there are two primary steps you need to take. The first step involves overcoming your fears and other “inner game” problems, while the second step involves what you actually say. Even if you think your inner game is good, the fact that you are reading this article wanting to know how to start a conversation with a guy tells me you are lying to yourself.

Do you need to figure out what to say to your friends? No. Why is this? Sure, you know them and this means you can talk about a lot of things. But this proves my point that I want to make: you are able to talk to your friends because you do not feel vulnerable to them. You can talk to your friends because you are not concerned about their judgments of how they see you. This opens a floodgate of conversational topics that get suppressed when you are trying to start a conversation with a guy.

Contrast talking with your friends to talking with a guy you like. When you try to start a conversation with a guy, there are a million things you can talk about, but you do not talk about them because you feel vulnerable in being judged. There are literally millions of things you can talk about, but you reason that, “He’ll think I’m weird”, “That’s a silly topic”, and “I don’t like that”. On the other hand, you don’t use this reasoning with your friends that chokes your conversations until they die. This why it is important to sort out these inner game issues that prevent you from starting a conversation with the guy so that you can become a stronger woman that naturally attracts men.

Let’s say a girl comes across a guy at a shopping center that she wants to get to know. She tries her best to think of something to start the conversation, but her mind is blank. She has inner voices telling her negative things such as, “You can’t do this”, “He won’t even like you”, and “You’ll just make yourself look bad and embarrass yourself”. The lady has already lost her inner game. She is not going to start a conversation with a guy by thinking like this.

The truth of the matter is her mind isn’t really blank; it is the destructive pattern of thinking that short-circuits the brain to make her feel her mind is blank. When you are suffocating your mind with destructive thinking, you ruin any chance you have in starting a good conversation. Winning on the outside starts with winning on the inside. Before you win in the conversation by starting a good conversation with the guy, you need to get your inner game into shape. You shouldn’t even worry about learning what to say when you can’t even speak.

Winning on the outside starts with winning on the inside.

I am going to hone in on how girls can start a conversation with a guy by firstly looking more into your inner game, then we will look into techniques that you can use to start a conversation with a guy. Moreover, these are fundamental conversational rules that can be used for anyone in various situations – they are not limited to girls starting conversations with guys.

Reframing Your Mind

The first path that you need to hop on to improve your inner game is being self-aware. Be self-aware of your inner dialog, the language going on in your mind. I know it is easier said than done so I’m going to teach you one of the most powerful personal development techniques to empower your mind and fight the limiting thoughts.

Motivational speaker Wayne Dyer uses the phrase “no limit thinking” as a means of releasing yourself from self-limiting beliefs. William James, a 19th century psychologist, said:

“The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.”

You need to release yourself from these beliefs so you can confidently start, and maintain, a conversation with almost any guy. You need to remove the limits that you have placed on yourself by using a technique called “reframing”.

Reframing is not a difficult technique to use. All it involves is changing how you interpret the troubling situation. Your aim in reframing is to create thoughts congruent with your goals and repeatedly affirm these thoughts to yourself. The more positive thoughts you create, the more you will improve your confidence and adopt a “no limit thinking” approach.

The girl at the shopping center would use the reframing technique by repositioning her current negative thoughts to positive ones about having a great conversation with the guy. Below are some negative thoughts the girl in our example is trying to overcome and to the right of each limiting thought is a good reframe the girl could use:

Negative Thought Positive Thought Using the Reframing Technique
“I’m nervous.” “I’m nervous because I care about the situation.”
“I won’t start the conversation well.” “I will start the conversation well as I can do with my other friends and other people.”
“I’m afraid.” “I wasn’t afraid last week when talking to a new guy so I don’t have to be afraid now.”
“He is so amazing and too good for me.” “He farts, burps, and itches himself like any other human.” :D
“He won’t like me.” “I don’t care if he won’t like me because I’m the prize. He is the one losing.”
“I don’t have anything to talk about.” “I have thousands of thoughts that can be used to start a conversation.”

Can you see how easy and powerful it is to overcome the limits you place on yourself? Reframing is truly an amazing technique. It may take a minute or two to come up with a positive interpretation of the situation, but with practice you’ll become faster and better at it. It can be used in almost any situation to boost your confidence, improve your happiness, and lead you to success.

Now that you’ve fought off your doubts, fears, anxieties, and uncertainties about having a conversation with the guy, you can now approach him and start a conversation. I have found that once people can better their inner game by using the reframing technique, the second part of this article – starting a conversation – naturally happens. People are able to start a conversation easily because they reframe the situation into a way that makes them feel more confident and able to talk about anything. Nonetheless, I will share effective techniques with you which you can use to start any conversation with a guy – or a conversation with anyone for that matter.

Situational Starter

To use the situational starter technique, all you do is notice what is going on in your surroundings. Preferably make it something the other person is aware of or would be aware of once you use it.

In the shopping scenario, the girl could use things like the place being busy or how hot the weather is… Wait, I here you say this technique sucks. These examples of the situational starter are very boring and probably would not be effective in the shopping scenario, but they can work when delivered by powerful nonverbal communication. Nonetheless, talking about the weather is really the simplest and worst use of the situational technique because it is very common.

I encourage you to be a little more creative in using the situational starter technique. To make better use of this technique, you need to use more in-depth situational influences for effective conversational starters. These involve discussions on more unusual things about the situation and rely on your creativity. Your conversations will be more fun once you follow this advice.

I’ll give you some examples of good situational starters the girl in our shopping example could use to start a conversation with a guy she likes. The girl could ask the guy how to locate a specific store or item. She could ask him where he got his hat because she would like to buy one for her brother (you can lie about it). Say the guy looks about 20 years-old, she could ask him for his opinion on whether her 20 year-old guy friend would like an item she thinks this new guy has an interest in. This last technique is more of an opinion opener, another good technique to start conversations, yet it still involves reading the situation.

The last thing you want to do is break the cardinal rule of conversations: being boring. Do not, and I repeat, do not be boring. You can avoid being boring by avoiding the usual topics, like the weather. Talk about passions, interests, conspiracies, and relationships. It is pretty simple to avoid boredom by talking about topics that have emotion! By talking about topics each of you are emotionally involved in, you create an emotional link that the two of you will remember.

Use the Momentum: Branches

Using the reframing technique will free your mind to start conversations, but it is reassuring to have techniques that you can rely on to start a conversation. Using the situational starter with creativity or an opinion opener, gives you all you need to start a conversation.

Once you have got the conversation started, you are over the biggest difficulty. The conversation gets easier with time. But you still need to keep the conversation going. Starting a conversation means nothing if it stops dead in its tracks. You’ve overcome your inner game issues, you’ve approached and started a conversation with him, but if you don’t keep the conversation going you’re in trouble. I’ll list some techniques and tips you can use to keep a conversation flowing nicely with a guy, but browse the conversation skills section for more great tips.

I know myself and other guys love to talk about themselves. It’s only natural to talk about yourself because it’s the easiest topic to talk about. You can harness and leverage this with the guy by asking good open-ended questions.

It’s only natural to talk about yourself because it’s the easiest topic to talk about.

In the shopping scenario, say the girl started the conversation by asking the guy, “Excuse me. I’m after a basketball for my brother. I thought you’d know a bit about it and was wondering what advice you could give me?” The girl would listen attentively using positive body language and showing other forms of interest in what the guy is saying. If he doesn’t know much about basketballs, it doesn’t really matter as she could then keep the conversation going by asking him, “What things are you interested in then?” What matters is she has broken the ice and started a conversation.

She can increase her chances of keeping the conversation going by asking for his advice on an item she thinks would be of interest to him. Again, this is using the opinion technique and is very valuable in getting someone to talk to you. She can guess what he is interested in by looking at his clothes, his friends, what he is currently doing, or anything else that is noticeable. The girl can ask him for his advice on buying a basketball because he was wearing a basketball jersey. She can keep a conversation going by observing the guy and listening carefully.

Having asked for his advice and listened attentively, she can keep the conversation going by building onto what I call “branches” that grew from the conversation. Branches involve talking more in-depth about the topic, or even another topic, by listening carefully to what has been discussed. There are literally thousands of branches to a statement like, “I enjoy shopping with my friends.” Branches from this that you can talk about could be shopping experiences, stories related to shopping, and why you’re shopping to name a few of the many branches.

One example of branching the girl in our shopping example could use that continues from the guy’s reply to her question about basketballs is, “Thanks. You do know a lot about basketballs. How did you get all this knowledge?” She can build a conversation about the item and branch out into related topics that she thinks the guy is interested in depending on his energy when speaking on the topic.

If you do make a mistake and stuff up the conversation with him, don’t worry about it. Use the reframing technique by saying things to yourself like, “I stuffed up and am now smarter for next time” or “I don’t care. I’m the prize.” Failure is just another step towards your success of effortlessly starting conversations and keeping them going. With enough practice, you will be easily starting conversations with guys you like.

From this article you have improved your inner game, you know how to start a good conversation, and you know how to keep an exciting conversation going. All that’s left for you to do is put the techniques to use when you find yourself wanting to start a conversation with a guy!

Lastly, if you would like to learn more about how you can become a more confident, mature, attractive lady that naturally attracts men, there is one online resource I recommend you learn more about: Catch Him and Keep Him. “Catch Him and Keep Him” is an online series of newsletters, ebooks, and DVDs by Christian Carter that will help you become a better woman so you can find and keep “Mr Right”. Learn more by clicking here.


If you learned something useful from this article, please share the article with your friends, family, coworkers, and others by clicking: . You can also signup to my newsletter for more great information.

I'm creator of a highly praised program called "Communication Secrets of Powerful People" program. You can read about it here and order it here.


50 Responses to “How to Start a Conversation with a Guy”


gitari
13 Apr 2007, 8:57 pm

This was also very interesting coach!

Delilah
08 Jun 2007, 5:50 am

I went out with a guy, almost spontaneously. He was cute, I thought, WOW, this guy is too good for me. Then his friend leans over to me and whispers “he thinks your HOTT” I almost squealed with delight. Later I asked his friend to hook us up. Well, we hooked up :wink: . I was wondering, is it bad to hook up so quickly. I mean, I didn’t even know his last name, and he didn’t even know my FIRST name :!: :!: :neutral:

Anita
17 Jun 2007, 5:41 am

NO its not bad to hook up with a GUY! ITS GREAT that your getting out with this guy! If youve ever seen sex and the city ALL THEY EVER DO is hook up! So no DONT WORRY! the only thing is, is if your comfortable with it :grin:

kaylea
23 Aug 2007, 2:33 pm

I like this guy named Mike and we have been talking on the phone for about a month we both know we like each other but he wont ask me out :sad: I’ve run out of things to say and so has he we have these long pauses on the phone bc we cant think of anything to say. What should i do and are there any conversation starts that would work? I’m going into junior high.

Joshua Uebergang
26 Aug 2007, 10:46 pm

If you don’t have anything to say over the phone, then just say goodbye and hang-up. I’m serious. There’s only a certain amount of time that people want to spend on the phone, so if you have nothing else to say, finish the conversation and get on with your life.

If, for some reason I don’t understand, you must keep talking:
- talk about future plans together
- news, other daily events that occured, etc.

crosscountry
24 Sep 2007, 10:22 am

well, I have the same problem :mad: all i usually do is start off with hi, and talk about something we have in common!!!! but I bluch esally :oops: lol just go with the flow and youll do great!!!! :mrgreen:

crosscountry
24 Sep 2007, 10:23 am

or just go for it. you have nothing to losse but everything to gain!!!! :grin:

jane
07 Nov 2007, 3:58 am

i like this guy and iam kinda crazy about him but is it bad because i dont even know his name and havnt really talked to him i hate makin the first move i would rather the guy does it but frankly i dont think he knows i even exist..and everytime i do talk to him a wig out and end up saying nothing or just staring i know its crush but i just feel if we talked something could maybe happen…its in university so the classes are huge ..ive been sitting beside him for a couple of wks buh i dunno how to start a convo or even what to talk about… :oops:

Ruby
20 Nov 2007, 11:29 pm

i had a big crush with this guy.i met him twice but i don’t think he recognized me.We have been chat in msn couple of times but we lack of conversation.i only asked what he was up to and he just answered my question.Last time i met him at a dj party.He’s HOT and i do wana get him and make him interest to me.what should i do :?:

chi_chic
31 Dec 2007, 8:38 am

I am 18yrs old and I’ve liked this boy at my church since we were like 12…im shy buti hide it by being goofy and silly. whenever i look up i can see him looking at me and smiling: when we talk both of us smile at each other and i feel really shy. How can i approach him before he loses interest, i think he likes me but I’m afraid of embarrassing myself if he has someone else… I need advice. Should i approach him? or wait. How should i approach him?

kc
15 Feb 2008, 8:26 am

ok i need a little help im 16 yrs old and theres this guy in my school and i have no idea how to talk to him!! its like every time i see him i freez and cant talk my lags start to feel like jello so i dont know what to do?!?! i mean dont get me wrong cause i can normaly talk to ANY1 but i just cant seem to talk to him. and every1 tells me “oo just go up to him and start talking” well i think that would be soo wair cause i have NEVER talked to him b/4!! so do u tink u can help me ?!?!

sportytype24
19 Apr 2008, 3:24 pm

Ive been goin out wit this boy for at least two weeks now and i like him ALOT :mrgreen: , and we’ve known eachother for practically forever :smile: and when ever we talk face to face we have alot to talk about and we can talk for hours, but when were talking on the phone it seems like we dont have anything to say and im the one who usually starts most of the conversations and he just sits there and says couple of things and when we have nothing else to say, it gets quite for a while and i feel a little bit unconvertable and then make up some excuse to hang up. And we basically dont have that much to talk about anymore :cry: . Can u Tell me some things that can get some conversations fired up :grin: and can get him to talk more.

Anna
28 Jun 2008, 2:46 pm

hey im 17 and i really like this guy. 3 weeks before school got out he started texting me and he told me he had a crush on me. then asked if i would date someone like him. :mrgreen: i thought it was goin great. but when school got out i try and make plans and he just doesnt call me. :cry: i finally saw him at the mall today and we hung out for like 15 minutes then we had to leave. :sad: any advice on what i could say to him or let him kno i really am feelin him.? HELP ME! :???:

Joshua Uebergang
09 Jul 2008, 3:11 am

I’ve just rewritten the article. It will answer a lot of questions.

Lexis
13 Jul 2008, 12:05 am

okay, so my friend hooked me up with one of her really good guy friends..we started talking on myspace and before you know it he asked me for my aim..then after we started talking on aim for a while he eventually asked me for my number and immediately started texting me soon after. we’ve been non-stop texting for the last few days just talking about whatever comes up..just simple things. but now that we have talked about those things we havent really opened up with “personal questions”. even if i feel that i know the guy because i have been talking to him for a while, i really dont and i dont know how to start really getting to know him. and by the way; we havent met in person yett. and now i feel like i have run out of things to sayy :neutral: help.

Jess
26 Jul 2008, 6:59 pm

okay, so its like this, three days ago i met this guy on msn. he was funny, and nice and really kool. but today i talked 2 him on msn and he just went weird. And for some reason i am always the one to start a conversation.i dont know what to do HELP!!!

Boredom
29 Jul 2008, 12:43 am

I’m lame with starting off coversation simply because I have this feeling that the topic i will introduce would easily bore the heck out of pple. :cry: We all know that girls starts off conversations first with a guy, but in my own case all the guys I have been with are always the TALKATIVES. I virtually need help… :sad: :cry: I need some pointers and examples of topics u xperts think would sound interesting. I need to be very outgoing and ROMANTIC. :wink: :grin:

help please:D
15 Aug 2008, 8:06 am

so im 14 and a freshman n high school:D i take algebra 1 and theres 3 sophmores n my class. one of the sophmores[[well call him joe]] well joe is pretty cute. problem!!! my best friend is friends w. someone who has sex w. him all the time and i know “joes” had sex w. a bunch of girls which dosent bother me. but my problem is my teacher talks all math class basically and he sits in the row next to me 2 seats down and idk how to start a convo or if hell even want to start a convo since hes having sex w. another girl…i think or i know idk. i mean i am only a freshhii and idk if hell b interested…HELP!!!!!

EmeraLd
21 Aug 2008, 4:45 pm

I Hav A FeeLin Fer Dis Guy Now. He Noes It. He Used To Like Mwe, But I Dunnoe Does He StiLL. We Din Contact Fer A While As There Were Sum Misunderstanding. CoincedenceLy We Met Bcus Hys Fren Wanted To Hang Out Wid Me. He Apologised Fer Disappearing. I Did Too As I Tot Dat Maybe It Was My Fault ALso. DEn He Msg Me On Dat Nite. After Dat No More Msgs. I Tot Dat Tings Wud Be Like How It Used To. But No. Im Jus Kinda Upset & Pissed. Why Sae Sorry For Fun? But Nah.. Nvm. Hes Not D OnLy Guy Fer Me. But I Dun Understand What Is He Trying To Do & Proof Now. :wink:

Bobby Corwen
23 Aug 2008, 3:06 pm

I’m reading this because I REALLY need to work on my interpersonal skills. I am so bad at them…I usually keep things to myself, and I don’t know why…
What I’m interested in is making friends…and close ones. From the look of these comments…the majority of you probably have no problems with making friends…except attracting your crush or whatever reasons…maybe mine perhaps…anyways…I’ll look into attraction, when I happen to be curious. Which I previously was…but I only did that because society signaled me to. :b

hb
12 Sep 2008, 8:41 am

okay i seriously need help. there is this guy i REALLY like. he is on football, basketball, and he lives right next to me. i even babysit his dog!! but i dunno how to talk to him–he’s really shy, as am i. PLEEZ HELPA MEE!! :sad:

julia
22 Sep 2008, 11:03 am

ok…well im dating this guy and he is perfect but i get reall shy when i talk to him on the phone…and hes always telling me to talk but i dont know wat to say..its really okward…help???

haiden
29 Sep 2008, 7:32 am

ok..so im dating my brothers friend.yeah i know its weird..but i really like him, and im sure he likes me.. we always go to movies and stuff. but we never act like a couple..and when we are in the car..its dead silent..and i dont know what to do.. (wow this is pathetic!)

hazel
16 Oct 2008, 12:53 pm

hey how do u react to someone when they call u boaring.they say that u dont kno how to hold a conversation?

Danielle
19 Oct 2008, 5:08 pm

im 13 almost 14 and i have a huuuuge crush on this guy but i dont think he cares that much about me. i sit right next to him, we talk but not for long, and i dont no what to say! its killing me. :oops: plz help meh..

maria
19 Oct 2008, 5:19 pm

Oh boy . . Well there’s this guy I had a crush on since freshmen year . . Its funny cus we never spoke && I never really went to class! =X well now,I finnally found out his name && his myspace . . I added him . . We then started having like a long ass convo on myspace . . Asked me for my sn . . Spoke on aim from 11pm thru 7am! Jup! && like i’m the one to say hey to him . . We talk good . . Idk if he’s intrested in me like that or if he wants nothing but friends . . But all I know is I finally got his name && I like him,not a lot but getting there . . Ughh,idk what do uu think he wants w/me??

maria
19 Oct 2008, 5:21 pm

Oh && btw if ur wondering i’m supposed to be a senior this yr but i’m just gonna get my G.E.D! Please reply back dude :/

justine
23 Oct 2008, 11:55 am

we all basically got da same problems in terms of starting a conversations especially on the phone when ure talkin to someone u really like n can relate that to myself and honestly we all need some big time HELP with that. IS THERE SOMEONE THAT COULD HELP ALL OF US, WE NEED SERIOUS HELP we we need some hot n steamy topics to talk about inorder for the conversation to be interesting

cant tell ya that
02 Nov 2008, 11:43 am

I like this guy name Ben and he’s one of those
emoish preppy boys and i hate preps but he is
pure gorgeousness! i often catch him glancing
at me but he just WILL NOT talk to me and since
he is always around his friends, i know he doesn’t
have the time for me. And ALSO, guy named Tyler.
He’s cute we’ve talked a couple of times, but,
he’s stopped talking to me as much. He still looks at
me like he REEEEEALLY wants to talk to me and im so
confused!!! i’ve never had a boyfriend therefore, i dont
know how to talk or start a conversation with a boy.
I just wish i could be more confident but i AM glad
i haven’t had a million “boyfriends” or should i say
hook ups, like those damned preps…

Lia T
05 Nov 2008, 11:36 am

:oops: …. There is this relly hot guy named Riccardo…… I relli liek him nd he relli likes me .. we arent goin out yet but i want to get to noe him first… he is relli shy around me i think it is because he knoes i liek him but he knoes i like him too but he styll is relli shy … i try to come up with convo’s but he juss answers yes and no to every one and uses minimum words …. what are a couple covo starters that no matter what you say you cant say a one word answer .. i mean ok sure anyone can say what is ur favourite food nd why .. but how do you just bring tht up out of noe where .. i need a lot of help!!!!!!!!! :neutral: Thanks

emily :)
11 Nov 2008, 5:00 pm

ok. so im a 14 in junior high. and i like this guy a lot! we talk maybe once a day i know (pathetic) but when im around my friends i feel soo comfortable. but when im around himI feel very nervous and shy. and i wanna approach him and talk to him..but in my head im just like heres ur chance! do it now! but i just cant do it idk y. it makes me mad :evil:
yeah i know this doesnt make a lot of sense…. but i really wanna have a conversation with himm but i just aaaahh i cannnttt. and i also i think this other girl likes him too! and she has a ton of confidence and i feel like i will lose my chance! :cry:
PLEASE I NEED HELP ASAP!!!!

caroline
17 Nov 2008, 11:07 am

ok i like diz guy :mrgreen: and at first we talked but little in skool like messing around but now im kinda shy :oops: to talk to him but i dont know wat to talk about

i really like this guy
05 Dec 2008, 7:22 am

:sad: i really like this guy at my school, and im in 7th grade and hes in 8th grade . i only talked to him once because i interviewed him for being on the basketball team.sometimes during lunch i see him glancing at me but i really want to talk to him but i dont know how to because i’m really nervous.Please give me some advice.

Ruthie
05 Dec 2008, 8:49 am

Okay, so i may not get an answer… Although id really like one. So i like this guy and when were on say, msn, the convo will start offf great but then..we lose it? so i don’t know what to say..and eventually he ignored me bc theres nothing more to say. what do i do?! to keeep him interested, ? :roll: :!:

ilovemax112105
13 Dec 2008, 2:54 pm

I REALLY like this guy who actually lives down the street who is a grade higher than me. Were both really shy, so we never really talk in person, just texting. We’ve only talked once about report cards and the other time he said bye to me personally :smile: . Anyways, all of my friends are trying to hook us up, so we can be a couple. My 2 friends and I are going to the movies over winter break and I want him to come too. My friend said that she would ask him to go; probably because I would just stare at him in awe looking like an idiot. Well, if we end up going to the movies, what should I say to him?

I ItWorthIt?
15 Dec 2008, 1:50 pm

So I like this guy, we’ll call him Eric. He is a junior, I’m a freshman. So I’m pretty sure he likes me, he stares at me alot, and stands by me. However- he has a girlfriend. I don’t know what to do here. Should I wait for him?

I’ve never formally met him. I know, pathetic. :???: But, I have a thing for him. :wink: Mainly because I’ve seen him and he’s such a good guy, and really attractive.

sarah
15 Dec 2008, 7:29 pm

i like this guy, hes cute he use to like me, now when i see him in school its kind of awkward, and i hear that he hooks up with all these other girls, i really like him now and he use to like me, do i have a chance?

I ItWorthIt?
17 Dec 2008, 10:25 am

Sarah- I thought it would be nice to reply to you. Even though I’ve asked for some advice for myself. :)

Sarah, I personally think that you should move on. If he’s a player, then it’s not a good sign, think about this, How would you feel when dating him? Your just going to wonder if he’s hurting you behind your back. It’s better to find a different guy. I realize that it may be hard because he’s too attractive and you feel somewhat of a connection to him, but I think this is best meant just to be a small fantasy. Keep on being yourself, and the right guy will come along.

It’s probably not the answer you want, but it’s the best advice anyone can give you right now. I think if you realize this now, you can save yourself from so many more things that will only lead you into more confusing feelings. Like regret, confusion, but mostly- love because you will build up this ‘guy’ in your head of what you want him to be like that you won’t really see the real him, and by then you’ll be too far into a hole that you won’t realize what’s happening at the time. Good luck sweetie! :smile:

Vickee
19 Dec 2008, 7:10 am

Ok i know everyone is like asking for help and I am too … xxD
This guy is my mom’s co-worker’s son. He’s extremely HOT, smart, tall & anything i would ever want. I really want to start a convo with him but then i dunno how to. After reading this article it might have inspired me a bit. But then of course it is easier said then to be done. I also have his number. Should i call him or talk to him msn. Me n my stupidityNESS i forgot to give him my number. Do you guys have any sugestion to how i can get him asking me what my number is??? ^^

e-mail: vicky_is_cool_92@hotmail.com
If you don’t mind can you reply me through my e-mail!! xxD

xlaurenx
29 Dec 2008, 1:21 am

sportytype , if you need to have more conversations why don’t you arrange a date somewhere . Cinemas are a great place to hang out with dates . the film also gives you a topic to talk about . He’s probadly just shy to talk to you because he likes you !

xlaurenx
29 Dec 2008, 1:36 am

you should arrange for you to meet up at a cinema on a saturday with a couple of other friends. whether it be in the morning afternoon or evening it doesn’t matter. This will give you an exuse to call him and maybe after you’ve finished talking about the meet up you can start to talk about how his christmas was , what he got , if he’s doing anything for new year, and ( after you’ve been to the cinema ) if he enjoyed the film . You could also ask him about any other films he’s seen and talk about music. Most guys have a greattaste in music andyou will usually have at least heard of 1 band he likes. Maybe if things go well you could even ask him to play you it or meet up for a concert date .

hope it’s helpful x from Lauren.

xlaurenx
29 Dec 2008, 1:49 am

I ItWorthIt? – I personally think that you should be there for him when he splits up and don’t try anything with him unless he has split with her . you wouldn’t want people blaming you and him being upset if she split with him . he might blame you also and not only would you lose your chances but a friend also.

i think you should wait for him but push him to the back of your mind . there’s gotta be someone out there who’s free and despretely in love with you x hope it helps x

xlaurenx
29 Dec 2008, 1:54 am

Ruthie – break the touch barrier . you can learn totouch him so lightly that he’ll get shivers down his spine ! he’ll start to get more open and less shy around you and is probadly like that because he’s crazy about you. An exuse to touch him would be brushing imaginary fuzz of his jumper or touching him as you laugh (just lightly on the shoulder)

xhope it helpsx

xlaurenx
29 Dec 2008, 1:57 am

i really like this guy – If you like him sum up the courage to just waltyz upto him towards the end of lunch when he’s walking to lessons and just say ” hi ” or accidently brush past him . touch him on the shoulder lightly and say ” oh i’m sorry ! my names …” you can chat untill you have to go to your class and he has to go to his !!!

hope it helps xx

Secret
03 Jan 2009, 4:14 pm

im fourteen, freshman. i tense up whenever im around guys and i never know what to say. my friend is really good at talking to them and she has boyfriends all the time so when she invites me places where theres guys, i feel like i am never good enough and i know i can get rid of that by having a good frame of mind but my game is horrible.. lol. i have a great personality when i am relaxed but i never seem to get better at talking to guys. can anybody reply with tips or w.e

rebekah
08 Jan 2009, 3:30 pm

im a freshman 14,and i like this guy and he’s 16
my best friend has a boyfriend her boyfriends is best friends with the guy i like.I am a shy girl.When im with my friends i have no problems talking to them.But if im with my friend my friend’s boyfriend,and the guy i likes there i dont like to talk cause i dont want to sound stupid or mess up and say the wrong thing. i dont know how to talk or start a conversation with guys.PLEASE help me. I DONT WANT TO LOOSE HIM!

ME!!!!!
15 Jan 2009, 2:12 pm

Umm I just thought of this but if we all feel the same about all this about the akward silences and all… then y doesnt this feel any better?! :shock:

SHERRY
16 Jan 2009, 7:14 pm

17 years old, almost legal… anyhooz.. So i like this guy, and kinda dont kno what to do when im talkin to him on da fone. cant really think of topics to really talk about and i hate it when it gets all silent for like a good 2 minutes. :oops: So what is there to talk about when you’re with the guy? anything?????
What if the guy is quiet and doesnt really like to talk on the phone, how do you open him up and be more comfortable….
:roll:

Dazed and Confused
19 Jan 2009, 7:17 am

:mrgreen: I am so happy to know that I’m not the only person in the world that has problems talking to people! It makes me feel less alone! Hah.

My main problem is getting the courage, and going up to a guy and talking to him. I have self confidence, but yes it’s not perfect. (Nobody’s is!) I just have no clue how to randomly start a conversation.

What do I do like walk up to a guy at the mall and be like “So hey, I was checkin you out from the food courta, and I think you’re hot.” :shock: :lol: I like laugh at the thought of doing it!! Wouldn’t it be weird to like just randomly say something like that?? Huh….why can’t i just be an extrovert. My life would be so much easier!! lol.

And the thing is…I’m a pretty talkative person once you get to know me. So why do I have trouble?? Grrr.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!! Thanx.

casii
21 Jan 2009, 3:55 am

Im 16 and totaly in love with this guy. We started dating right after my bay and had only known him 3 days when we started dating. We dated 1 mnth and 1 week before he dumped me. He says its cause he wasn’t ready. He says I might have a second chance when he’s ready….. we talk on the phone 24-7…. what do I talk about tho. Its always so weird…. how can I start a convo with a guy that said he loved me and all I can think is why did he leave me….

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