This is a review of Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen’s Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most.

Have you ever struggled to negotiate something important to you like a pay raise? Have you ever felt anxious about talking something over with your partner? Are there issues in your life that you ignore because you’re too afraid to talk it over with someone? If you ever have talked about something difficult, are you sick of arguing, feeling ignored, and getting no where in the conversation? Difficult Conversations is the solution to these problems that you have been looking for.

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen have studied situations described by the above questions at the Harvard Negotiation Project. Their findings come from diverse fields of study like cognitive therapy, social psychology, and communication theory. After analysing, developing theories, and testing conversations that we find difficult to effectively communicate in, the end result is Difficult Conversations.

The complete framework of the book is made up of three separate conversations we have with ourselves and the other person, during tough conversations:

1. The “What Happened?” Conversation is about learning people’s stories of what occurred.
2. The Feelings Conversation is about discovering and expressing (not venting) emotions during the conversation.
3. The Identity Conversation is about finding how people attribute themselves to the issues being discussed.

Each of these three conversations are discussed in-depth as the authors advise you what to focus on, common mistakes made, and general pieces of advice you will find directly speak to you. One particular piece you will find speaks to you is the assumption we know the truth. In this assumption we think the other person is wrong and we are right. The problem is the other person is thinking the same thing – a sure formula for destructive conflict. When you shift to a learning conversation as you explore the three conversations, you will overcome these limiting views.

The last chapter provides a complete dialogue between two people as one of them uses the entire Difficult Conversation’s framework. This is followed by a convenient summary of all the book’s main points (an excellent quick reference for when you need it). Overall, the language used is simple and easy to understand. You are shown conversations of what went wrong, what went right, and why it is so to help you talk about difficult issues.

Difficult Conversations is the leading book for learning how to talk about tough issues (though you may also want to check out my review of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations because the books are related but do not overlap). I highly recommend you get it because we all have, and will continue, to experience situations where we must confront people, solve the problem, and keep each other’s sanity in tact. You can grab your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

This is a book review of Napoleon Hill’s all-time international classic Think and Grow Rich!. It is the original version, restored and revised by Ross Cornwell, and fully annotated and indexed.

A simple Google search with “Think and Grow Rich” shows millions of results. Since publishing the book in 1937, when the Great Depression was at its strongest, Napoleon Hill has impacted, or rather created, personal development as we know it today. That is why I am reviewing the book: because its teachings are powerfully fundamental to any type of personal development.

Think and Grow Rich! is an accumulation into Hill’s studies of 500 of the world’s most successful people over a 25 year period. Hill studied, and was fortunate enough to develop relationships with many of, the likes of Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Gandhi, William Wrigley, Wilbur Wright, Theodore Roosevelt, Elbert Hubbard, Franklin Woolworth, John Rockefeller, Charles Schwab, and Alexander Graham Bell. Such a powerful study alone should be enough reason to buy the book. To tap into the minds of men who pioneered many things we have today is an irresistible opportunity.

Hill’s book is similar to Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People in that they both are classic books shaping many self help teachings today. These are books over 70 years old, that have been reshaped by the author’s family and other experts, which get mentioned in nearly any personal development book. If the book is not directly mentioned, its principles are mostly likely discussed in an indirect manner.

The most mysterious thing about the book is what Hill calls “the secret”. The secret was revealed to him by Andrew Carnegie who gave the secret very subtly without giving it a name. Hill provides half of the secret, but tells the reader it is up to them to figure it out. In the author’s preface, Hill says:

“The secret to which I refer is mentioned no fewer than a hundred times throughout this book. It has not been directly named, for it seems to work more successfully when it is merely uncovered and left in sight, where THOSE WHO ARE READY and SEARCHING FOR IT may pick it up… If you are READY to put it to use, you will recognize this secret at least once in every chapter. I wish I might feel privileged to tell you how you will know if you are ready, but that would deprive you of much of the benefit you will receive when you make the discovery in your own way.

There is a real interesting seven minute video on YouTube I recommend you go watch where Napoleon Hill discusses the secret. The video captures rare footage of Hill, someone who has shaped personal development today, so I do recommend you watch it, if not to learn about the secret, then to just see Hill.

What is fascinating about the secret is that some people cannot discover it – even after reading Think and Grow Rich! 15 times. This is not a problem on the person’s part, it is merely an indication that they are not ready. As Hill says, the secret is obvious to you when you are ready.

The secret reflects Think and Grow Rich! principles: you can read the book and overlook powerful lessons because your awareness is not ready to gather such lessons. Like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, by reading the book one time every year you experience powerful new realizations because your awareness and experience you have at the present time is not enough to completely grasp the principles in these classic books.

The 13 steps to riches, which form the books chapters and most of its contents, are as follows:

1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Autosuggestion
4. Specialized Knowledge
5. Imagination
6. Organized Planning
7. Decision
8. Persistence
9. Power of the Master Mind
10. The Mystery of Sex Transmutation
11. The Subconscious Mind
12. The Brain
13. The Sixth Sense

The chapters on desire and the master mind were the most compelling to me. The master mind section is about gathering a group of like-minded people together. Wealthy individuals often thank Hill for bringing this success principle to their mind because even though you may not have the knowledge or expertise in an area, the master mind gives you connections with like-minded people to gather the information you need for success.

There are a lot of Think and Grow Rich! versions out there, so why should you get this version by Ross Cornwell? Simply put, from my experience and many other people’s experience, this is the best version out there. Ross Cornwell has included a lot of useful material that other versions released after 1960 exclude. In the back of the book is Bruce Lee’s application of Hill’s “Definite Chief Aim” where you write down your goals using the self-confidence formula. Lee’s definite chief aim was found in Hollywood and later matched his success of being the highest paid Oriental star in the United States. As the book’s front page states: “The version of TGR! that makes all others obsolete.”

Go to the following link I’m about to give to you, and take a few minutes to read some people’s life-changing stories. Because the book was released many decades ago, there are people who share their story on how exactly Think and Grow Rich! changed their life. The 13 steps to riches given to you by Hill have great power in changing you to be who you want to be. If you do not already have a copy of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich!, you must grab your copy now from Amazon by clicking here.

This is a book review of Dale Carnegie’s The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.

Dale Carnegie’s name is synonymous with How to Win Friends and Influence People. He is said to be a contributor to the start of self-improvement. Though The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking is not as popular Carnegie’s all-time classic, possibly because of its narrower market in public speaking skills, I believe it lives up to the author’s name. (If you have not read Dale Carnegie’s all-time classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, with over 16 million sales, you are missing out.)

Originally called Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business in 1931, Dale’s wife, Dorothy Carnegie, revised the book, and renamed it The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking, in 1962 with Dale’s notes and suggestions before he passed away. With many improvements made possible from the couple’s speaking experiences and the Dale Carnegie Organization, this book is a great primer in public speaking.

Having taught public speaking for 40 years, Dale Carnegie has transformed public speaking into a skill anyone can develop. He has seen what works, what doesn’t work, and what works brilliantly. He has helped thousands of people overcome the fear of public speaking and present exciting speeches that hook the audience’s attention.

The book has 5 parts with 14 chapters and starts out with the basics of public speaking. You learn how to choose a topic, express yourself with excitement, and improve your speaking skills. Other bits of advice to improve your speaking skills include how to: let others know your thoughts, cut-down the number of points in your speech, and sincerely appreciate your audience.

The most repeated point made in the book is to choose a topic that interests you and get excited about it. Convince yourself that what you have is worth sharing and you will convince the crowd to listen attentively to you. Choosing a topic that excites you will make you talk with interest, vocal variety, and good body language because 93% of our communication comes from nonverbal communication when we discuss our likes or dislikes. This could very well be the secret to effective public speaking.

This book has the same style of writing as How to Win Friends and Influence People. There is many stories, easy-to-read language, clear advice, and most importantly is the practical simplicity of the advice. While it takes time to develop public speaking skills, the advice given is the easy way to effective speaking because it leverages our natural abilities and knowledge.

A brief review of the table of contents is below for your convenience:

I have left out in-depth detail of parts 2, 3, 4, and 5 because there is too many points to list here. It would take-up too much room. A full summary of each part can be found conveniently at the end of each part for quick reference so you can revise and easily memorize what you have learned.

In my opinion, the advice offered on how to give an impromptu speech (a speech where you are given the topic on the spot) is the best part about the book. I have always struggled to think quickly on my feet by speaking smoothly on a topic I was just given, and the advice given is powerful. I am quickly improving, becoming more confident, and talking longer – and these improvements will continue because you learn how to continually improve your speaking skills.

I highly recommend you get this book to improve not just your public speaking skills, but to also improve your conversational skills, remove self-consciousness, and boost confidence. Public speaking has the effect. If you have not already got yourself a copy of Dale Carnegie’s The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking, you need to go grab your copy now from Amazon by clicking here.

This is a review of Carol Fleming’s The Sound of Your Voice, an audio program created to improve your voice.

What better way to improve the quality of your voice than to listen to a speech expert teach the skills she has learned for several decades. Since 1968, Carol Fleming as ran her private speech communication consultancy in the San Francisco Bay Area. Having earned her doctorate in communication disorders from Northwestern University, she has made her vocal techniques available in her entertaining audio program.

You can buy books on improving your voice, such as Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power, but until you hear a good voice and are able to break it down into specific reasons why it is good, you will be speaking in hope that your technique is correct. Understanding what is a good voice, the qualities of a good voice, and being able to transfer this understanding into your voice through practical exercises is vital – all things covered in The Sound of Your Voice.

The program isn’t a boring dictation of a book. It is an entertaining, well produced, free-flowing program. Fleming is the primary speaker accompanied by Wesley, a Brit with a soothing accent. I’m not particularly fond of British accents, having an Australian one myself “mate”, yet it is enjoyable to hear the two talk about speaking. Moreover, the program is not two people conversing about talking – it is a well produced program that contains real-life examples, entertaining sounds, and many speakers with diverse voice qualities that Fleming dissects. It is a lively program.

You won’t be caught up in technicalities when doing the program. It is a simple, effective, and teaches what Fleming has studied, practised, and taught for many years. The program will show you:

• How to add vocal vitality to your voice so you are not boring. Men especially struggle to remove their monotone voice and speak with vitality.
• How to speak in a powerful, mature manner. While men struggle with a monotone voice, women sometimes struggle to convey power in their voice.
• How to eliminate or change your accent.
• Breathing exercises to support your voice.
• How to removing annoying content from your speech like filler words and superlatives.
• How to speak clearly and smoothly articulate each word.
• What to do to get your voice ready for speaking.
• And plenty more.

The vocal exercises in the program is what took my voice to the next level. I have always struggled to understand resonance and getting my voice to vibrate clearly from the front of mouth for better articulation, and a simple exercise has helped me to do just that.

If you want to improve your voice, Carol Fleming’s The Sound of Your Voice is the way to go. It is the best voice program I have come across. You can grab your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

This is a review of Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power: Using Your Voice to Captivate, Persuade, and Command Attention.

Have you ever wondered why some people can grab people’s attention and make them listen to their every word? If your voice isn’t as powerful as you want it to be, you can learn to make it resonate with a powerful clarity. Renee Grant-Williams will show you how in Voice Power.

Having worked with celebrities and singers such as Garth Brooks, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, and The Dixie Chicks, Grant-Williams has established herself as an authority on improving the human voice. You don’t need to be a singer or even a public speaker to improve your voice – having a better voice will help you whenever you say a word. Whether you’re disciplining children, motivating employees, seducing a partner, or teaching a workshop, a better voice helps get your point across and make it stick.

Voice Power isn’t about getting you to speak loudly. In fact, volume was mentioned rarely in the book. It is more about creating the support and resonance for a commanding voice that comes with little effort. The basis behind the book is good breathing. When we were babies, we naturally breathed well. We lost good breathing habits when we were taught to puff-out our chest and hold our heads high – two techniques that bring tension into a voice. The breathing techniques will have you relaxing, improving your balance, reducing stress, minimizing muscular tension, and improving your voice.

Using powerful consonants where you elongate important consonants is yet another powerful piece of advice that goes against common knowledge of elongating vowels. Saying “Ssstop it nnnowww” is more powerful than “Stooop it nooow”. I think you’ll find many things clicking in your mind, that previously didn’t make sense or proves other advice wrong, with the author’s simple and effective teachings in the book.

Other central techniques in the book include silence, rhythm, and volume. Grant-Williams describes a musical beat to speaking that is extremely valuable – especially for when you prepare a speech. Elvis Presley’s singing technique, posture, and body positioning is used to demonstrate and breakdown a beautiful sounding voice.

The last section in the book deals with voice care. Getting enough water, eating well, exercising, using a humidifier to keep the air moist are a few of the tips shared by the author. The author also discusses some common problems with unhealthy voices such as reflux and nodes to ensure you don’t have a health ailment limiting your speaking abilities.

Overall, it is a great book on powering-up your voice and making it sound richer. I found myself pulling many pieces of advice and techniques from it. Make your voice count because it has so much power in making a good impression on others. Make your voice an asset that shows you’re a confident and powerful by getting a copy of Voice Power. You can grab your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

This is a book review of Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.

Neuroscience is quickly discovering that humans are wired to connect. Goleman in his groundbreaking books says that the neural linkages between humans influences the brain, and hence the body. These invisible bridges give us the ability to change people’s moods, emotions, and health, as these people can do to us. Relationships not only shape emotional states and general psychological experience, but also the very physiological matter that makes our body. Our interactions with people influences our immune system, circulation, hormones, and breathing for example.

Our ability to connect with fellow humans influences us in deep and immediate ways. Unlike emotional intelligence, social intelligence focuses on this intimate connection between two human minds. Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence focuses on skills and capabilities within the individual. It deals with self-motivation, self-awareness, handling anxiety, and reading social cues. Social Intelligence expands from the one-person psychology within an individual to a two-person psychology that looks at the connection shared between individuals. More specifically, Goleman defines social intelligence as: 1) social awareness, which comprises of primal empathy, attunement, empathic accuracy, and social cognition, and 2) social facility, which includes synchrony, self-presentation, influence, and concern.

Goleman says many theories of social intelligence are narrowly defined to a cognitive context. Social intelligence tests ask participants what they would do in specific situations – a process that uses the brain’s high road, cognitive functions within our awareness. Goleman’s model of social intelligence seeks to include the brain’s low-road, the neural circuitry hidden from consciousness that functions at incredible speeds, because awareness of what people are thinking or feeling does not equate to healthy conversations. Social intelligence is really beyond the intelligence quotient (I.Q.) and emotional intelligence.

Drawing on hundreds of studies, Social Intelligence looks into altruism, primal empathy, attachment, rapport, and compassion to name a few topics that are emerging from this new field of study. From the amygdala and prefrontal cortex to spindle cells and mirror neurons, like Emotional Intelligence, Goleman once again digs deep into neuroscience and vast numbers of studies. Again, he provides plenty of interesting anecdotes to demonstrate his principles in action, which to me gives the book more power for its application.

Chapter one reveals the emotional economy, a term that describes the give-take process of emotions. It discusses how a smile makes you happy, a worried looking face makes you unsure, and the biological process of how emotions transmit through people like a virus. Emotional contagion is an example of a low-road functioning beyond our awareness that can contaminate people’s state.

The fourth chapter looks at the human instinct for altruism. While it touches on worldly altruistic behaviors seen through people like Mother Teresa, it focuses on empathy in small-scale relationships. Like animals that have instinctive compassion to assist a fellow member of its species in trouble, we have instinctive compassion to help people in our relationships. It is through attention and empathy that we are able to bring forth this innate characteristic of love.

The last chapter I would like to mention in hope of motivating you to buy the book is chapter fifteen which looks at the male and female brain, and the connection they share. The research in this chapter, like all chapters, is amazing and provides insight into attraction, sexual desire, libido, narcissism, and more intimate – or not so intimate – topics. You’re sure to gain a lot of advice about the opposite sex, as well as your own gender.

Without the jargon all too common in professors’ books and within emerging fields of study, Social Intelligence is a free-flowing read made easy by Goleman’s enjoyable writing style. Just like my review of Emotional Intelligence, I recommend you read Social Intelligence if you are after a book that provides very interesting research and insights into human interactions; not if you are after vast skills to use in your interactions. It is a book Goleman says that aims to lead social intelligence and its understanding. Nonetheless, the emerging field of social intelligence has amazing dynamics and is definitely worth learning more about. You can grab your copy of Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence from Amazon by clicking here today.

Videos

Goleman discusses his book, the foundations of social intelligence, and a few discoveries social neuroscientists have made in finding that we are wired to connect.

This is a book review of Chip Heath and Dan Heath’s Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die.

Why is it that urban legends, conspiracy theories, and public health scares can reach the other side of the world; while most businesses, teachers, and public speakers cannot get their ideas to reach the very person they are talking to? The answer lies in Made to Stick.

Everyday we get pounded with information from people. Most of it slips straight off us like food sliding off Teflon. “What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients.” said Herbert Simon, winner of the 1978 Nobel Prize in Economics. “Hence, a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.”

Chip Heath and Dan Heath’s Made to Stick teaches you more than how to grab people’s attention. It will provide you with an exact formula for getting your ideas in people’s minds and keeping them there. The two authors use their first of six principles, “Simplicity”, in their stickiness formula by making their six principles form an acronym SUCCESs:

1. Simplicity
2. Unexpectedness
3. Concreteness
4. Credibility
5. Emotions
6. Stories

Reading a book about sticky ideas makes you hope the authors’ make their own principles sticky – and Chip and Dan Heath make all their principles stick using exactly what they teach. Each principle contains many real-life, and not so real, examples of ideas that have stuck in people’s minds. The stories used are really entertaining, most notably is the urban legend of Kidney thieves where an attractive lady seduces and drugs men who later awaken to find their kidneys have been stolen.

While Chip Heath is a Professor of Organizational Behavior in the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University and Dan Heath has conducted research for Harvard Business School, they don’t throw technical information at you – that would break their principles. Their book embodies many entertaining stories that are very practical. They also give you several exercises, and allow you to compare your answers with their answers, to practice the principles.

Teachers, public speakers, marketers, and experts in their field of choice, need to read Made to Stick. The book’s ideas focus around the Curse of Knowledge, a principle that explains why experts fail to make their ideas stick in students’ minds. Business managers fall into the trap of thinking they have successfully presented their proposal, or convinced people to buy into their idea, when they have finished a PowerPoint presentation. “What they’ve done is share data”, says the authors. Expressing your thoughts is one thing; it is entirely another thing for people to be convinced and remember your words.

I purchased the book to help me better communicate the communication skills I teach in books and articles, but I found how important it is to use as much of the SUCCESs formula in your everyday conversations as possible. Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize how most charismatic and persuasive persons naturally use the book’s principles.

If you want you, and your ideas, to be remembered in conversations and presentations, then the New York Times Best Seller Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die is exactly the book you need. You can grab your copy now from Amazon by clicking here.

This is a book review of Writing Works: A Resource Handbook for Therapeutic Writing Workshops and Activities edited by Gillie Bolton, Victoria Field, and Kate Thompson.

Writing Works specifically deals with writing in various forms, mostly poetry, for a therapeutic effect of self-awareness. It contains many contributions of exercises and stories from over 40 experts in the fields of psychotherapy, poetry, creative writing, social work, and psychology, put together by the three editors.

The book doesn’t go anywhere near psychoanalysis and analyzing a person’s writing; as it specifically deals with helping people help themselves, and helping you help yourself. Once the writer overcomes the initial hump of getting pen to paper, the writer goes through much powerful exploration. Usually the writer is completely unaware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences until written on paper. This is really the purpose of Writing Works.

Though the majority of the book’s exercises are focused on working in groups, they can be easily done one-on-one or alone. The book is just as applicable to someone interested in self-discovery on their own as opposed to working in a group.

People involved in therapeutic writing will always work with others who have no experience in writing. The book compensates for this well by having simple exercises and the basics of writing poetry. The exercises do not require writing experience. They aren’t about literary brilliance; rather, building self-awareness. As the authors say, “The writer will always write the right thing. It is impossible to get it wrong.”

The first thirty pages provides insight into what you need to do when conducting a writing activity. Confidentiality, building trust, respect, and pacing are all things that need to be considered. In terms of writing processes that are discussed in the remainder of the book, most people, including myself, are a bit weary of writing things like poetry. As a result, plenty of exercises throughout Writing Works are given on how to break the ice and begin trust building for an effectively intimate group that openly participates in all activities.

I really just have two criticisms of the book. Firstly, after the introduction till about half-way through the book, the information could have easily been condensed into one tenth the size. You are given simplistic exercises in each authors’ experiences that seem given to “fill the book”. Exercises seem repetitive as writing exercises are demonstrated under various stimuli like the outdoors, fantasies, or animals. Anyone could come up with these exercises, though they do serve as some good ideas to get your own creative juices flowing.

The second criticism I have is the lack of discussion about the example writings that I was expecting. Writing Works is about knowing how to run activities to help people discover themselves; not analysis. Apart from the interesting discussion on using Carl Jung’s masks in writing for self-discovery, I felt “empty” wanting to explore solutions to people’s problems.

The book does a wonderful job of getting someone to explore themselves through writing, yet don’t expect any deep insights into what is going on. I’m not sure if this is typical in the field of therapeutic writing, though it would seem so if it is all about self-awareness, but one time the authors mentioned that they had one group of ladies together for years doing their activities and making no progress. Perhaps this was encouraged within participants, at times, from loathing in their problems. Nonetheless, I see the power in techniques discussed in this book for self-awareness and personal growth.

Other than those two criticisms of the book, I was moderately pleased. I have no doubt in the power of therapeutic writing and in the authors’ vast knowledge. Writing Works provided me with my first eye opener of therapeutic writing and will enable me to use writing as means of discovering myself and helping other people discover themselves. I still don’t like poetry, but a few other exercises that involve story writing or the unsent letter are brilliant. I now have a great technique for safely expressing emotional steam. You can get your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

This is a book review of Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: Dynamic Techniques for Turning Fear, Indecision, and Anger Into Power, Action, and Love.

Forget trying mumbo-jumbo, a psychological trick, or the latest dietary secret to “remove” your fears. Just do the thing you fear. If reading that statement scares you, you’re not alone.

There’s no wonder this book has sold over 2 million copies. With fear being so common in society, Susan Jeffers has provided a solution: a guide that will have you acting in the face of fear.

By taking action in spite of fear you will remove anxiety and come to believe in yourself. You will save yourself a lot of time and worry in failed attempts to deal with your fear. Ironically, you can make your fears disappear, or at least greatly diminish, once you “just do it”. Susan will have you controlling the “chatterbox” within you that limits your success and makes you worry.

Susan’s best-selling book is named after a class she taught on fear. The class quickly became a hit. Her students became able to act in the face of their fears; as a result, they built confidence.

As was common in her classes, the students thought their fears were weird and unique problems. The students in her classes felt as if they were different from the rest of society. Gradually, as students began to share there stories, each class would always warm-up and be filled with a sense of excitement.

We think fear is a psychological problem like there is some weird mental or emotional problem with us. It isn’t some weird problem. The fear we experience is more an educational problem than a psychological problem. An educational problem made clear to you in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

The main message in the book is that fear comes from an uncertainty in capability to handle the situation. Our fears come from having a disbelief in being able to handle whatever life gives us. Susan Jeffers says, “All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.”

Though this may seem contradictory to the book’s main message, the book isn’t focused on removing the fear. As the title goes: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Many of your fears can go away, and the book helps you to remove these fears, but as Susan shares with her first truth about fear, “The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.” The 5 truths about fear are real eye-openers.

Everybody fears doing, or being, something new because of the uncertainty within unfamiliar situations. If you do not fear, you do not grow. Moreover, if everyone experiences fear in approaching something new in life, the problem itself is not fear. The real problem is how you hold fear.

Those paralyzed by fear feel helpless, indecisive, and angry; while those empowered by fear are powerful, action-oriented, and loving. The difference between the two categories of people is an educational problem solved by Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Fear, indecision, and anger are transformed into power, action, and love.

As you may have picked up in this review, the book doesn’t just talk about fears. It is about becoming more decisive, powerful, action-oriented, and loving. Many of our personal problems relate to these issues which are often subtle fears out of our conscious awareness. For example, a wife stays in her miserable marriage not realizing that she fears the uncertain life that would be ahead of her if she moved out. She continues to remain in the marriage constantly blaming her husband for what occurs in her life. The wife has anger and indecisiveness originating from her fear. Chances are, so do you.

Chapters are devoted to understanding fear, personal responsibility, blame, self-talk, positiveness, and transformation to name a few. I think the chapter on wholeness is brilliant as having a whole life prevents us from fearing loss in certain areas of our life. Another great chapter was on no-lose decision making. The author will make you realize that no matter which choice you make in any decision, each choice will lead to its own unique and fulfilling rewards. What a great way to remove fear.

The book is well written and simple to read. It doesn’t have the psychological terminology that can throw people off from reading books on the human mind. Its simplicity combined with a concise 209 pages will have you quickly finishing the book. You can be feeling the fear and doing it anyway in no time. Securely grab your copy of Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway now from Amazon by clicking here.

This is a book review of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time.

If you have ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to having it, then this is the book for you. Susan Scott details the exact methods to bring us to having those conversations that we know will change our life and other people’s life. It is important to overcome this barrier because a conversation is not about the relationship, it is the relationship.

When people see the word “fierce”, they may think pain, tough, or brutality. As it says on the book’s cover, “fierce” means robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. The premise behind having a “fierce conversation”, as mentioned in the book, is bringing authenticity in your life by communicating who you are and what you believe.

Fierce Conversations will get you having the most important conservation you can have with someone, right now. After all, if you want someone or something to change, you are the one responsible for initiating the change. If something is bothering you, you need to be the one who does something about it.

Whether through fear of hurting a person, receiving retaliation, or having someone point out our own mistakes, we delay having the conversations we need to have. A large part of the problem comes down to how we present ourselves to others, in our conversations, and when we are by ourselves. All conversations are with yourself, and some are with others.

It is the book’s purpose to achieve four outcomes: interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich relationships. These are achieved through the following 7 principles of fierce conversations:

1. Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality
2. Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real
3. Be Here, Prepared to Be Nowhere Else
4. Tackle Your Toughest Challenge Today
5. Obey Your Instincts
6. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake
7. Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting

These principles, and other ideas and models in the book, are mostly applied in an organizational context. As a consultant for Fortune 500 companies, Susan leans the book towards communication in an organization. However, as she mentions in the book, if someone has communication problems at work then the same problems are likely to show up in their personal lives.

Fierce conversations needs to be used with employees, customers, colleagues, family members, and friends; not just in business. You will find Fierce Conversations especially helpful if you have trouble expressing yourself, talking with others who have trouble expressing themselves, dealing with passive-aggressive people, or resolving an ignored issue that people know exists.

Susan gives you a series of simple and practical exercises to do at the end of each chapter to help you begin using the chapter’s communication skills. She provides insightful scenarios of her experience with clients using the communication models and the powerful change that has taken place as a result.

Fierce Conversations is no emotional walk in the park. You are faced with some hard questions about your reality. “It takes a certain fearlessness to make your private thoughts public.” Susan says. “But if what you’re thinking makes you squirm and wish to wriggle away, you are probably onto something.”

Should you choose to awaken to the truth that confronts you by beginning to have fierce conversations, your relationships will grow before your very eyes. You will begin to talk about what everyone is pretending to not know. Don’t miss having that one conversation that could change your life. Achieve success at work and in life, one conversation at a time by getting your copy of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations directly from Amazon.com by clicking here today.

Related Media Links

1. Video and audio links – Links on the Fierce Incorporated website with Susan Scott.
2. Companies, careers built or lost one conversation at time – An article published in a Seattle newspaper by Susan Scott discussing how conversations, one by one, shape our lives.