Improving Our “Signals” and “Beings”

“Men are like sheep, of which a flock is more easily driven than a single one.” - Richard Whately

“Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us.” - Loren Eiseley

“We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.” - General George S. Patton

It’s 1964 in New York City and something terrifying occurred. Most people who have since heard the story, struggle to believe such an incident would take place. Psychologists tell us had these people been present at the same situation, they would have behaved in the same manner.

The event I’m referring to involves a lady by the name of Catherine Genovese who was publicly stabbed and killed. This killing had a lot of debate surrounding it from many people in various roles and responsibilities. They were all shocked at how such an event could occur and left dumbfounded at how the observers of the killing did nothing to save the lady.

Robert Cialdini in Influence describes the killing as one that wasn’t done discretely in a dark alley hidden from other people. The shocking event occurred loudly over a 35 minute period with 38 of her neighbors not doing a single thing. They didn’t even phone the police.

The media had previously concluded that the public killing took place because society was “cold” and careless of others. The observers didn’t provide much useful information as to why they did nothing to help the murdered victim. Most of them said something along the lines of, “I don’t know.” Neither answer was the true reason for the observers doing nothing useful to help the attacked lady.

Later on, a pair of psychologists eventually found an accurate explanation. Their explanation comes from the sixth principle of influence, social proof, which states people look to others and follow what they are doing. In times of uncertainty where it is difficult to determine what exactly is going on, we will become more ignorant in an effort to “stay under the radar” and not get noticed. Whether yells are cries for help or playful shouts, loud bangs are someone dropping a heavy object or a gunshot, or a person wobbling down the street at night is drunk or very ill, it is “more safe” for us to follow what everyone else is doing and do nothing.

The psychologists later tested a theory of whether the number of people present in an emergency would affect whether the person(s) present changed the likelihood of the victim being helped. The researchers didn’t bash people over the heads with baseball bats to create a victim-scenario! Rather, they had someone fake a seizure to create the scenario for research purposes. The researchers found that individuals who were alone with the victim were more willing to attend to someone who appeared to be in need of assistance than when groups of people were present.

You maybe thinking that what took place in 1964 is different to nowadays, but it isn’t. The principle of social proof that explains the reason for cold and ignorant behavior, is just as powerful today. In early 2007, there was an attack in Los Angeles during broad daylight which was caught on camera. You can watch it take place on YouTube before your very eyes as approximately a hundred people standby and do nothing. Watch the video and as you see a few people walk towards the attack, more people follow and watch closely. The whole video is an example of social proof at work.

As safety advice, should you find yourself in an accident, experiencing a health problem, or being in a situation that requires another person’s help, the best thing you can do is to remove as much uncertainty as possible. Make it clear you are in need of help by talking directly to specific individuals and telling them exactly what to do like calling an ambulance. Remove as much uncertainty from the situation as possible so that social proof doesn’t work against you. Do a friend, coworker, or family member a favor by emailing them a link of this article. You never know, they could find themselves in a dangerous situation and understanding how social proof works may safe their life.

Building Momentum and Leadership

The principle of social proof is a very important influential principle in leadership and generally getting masses of people to do what you want. It is quite possibly the greatest technique for persuading masses of people. Any leader has very little chance to get each individual of a group to do what he or she wants. This is where social proof comes in handy.

An effective leader can put the principle of social proof into practice by persuading those who will be more easily persuaded first through persuasive techniques and the other five principles of influence. By getting a few people to follow your lead and doing what you want, other members of the group observe those who are doing what you want and are more influenced to follow your request. “A mood can sweep through a group with great rapidity,” says Daniel Goleman in his highly praised book Social Intelligence, “a remarkable display of the parallel alignment of biological subsystems that puts everyone there in physiological synchrony.”

You can think of social proof as a chain reaction. Your request is an explosion while the people you are trying to persuade are crates of explosives. The ones closest to the explosion (those more easily persuaded) are triggered (comply with your request) once you give an effective “explosion” using influence and persuasion tactics. The next ones who are a little further behind (less easily persuaded) are then triggered because of nearby explosions (witnessing other people comply with your requests).

This process can go on until eventually, the most cold-hearted individual who completely refused to comply with the person’s request at the beginning, starts thinking “everyone else is doing it so I must be wrong. I’ll do it as well.” The principle of social proof is extremely powerful and can convert a defiant individual into agreement.

You can further make use of social proof to get what you want by arranging situations in a way that increases the chances of social proof. Some ideas I have of how you can rearrange a situation to create social proof is getting people you know well to work with you and comply with the request.

Another idea you can use for when you are in a social situation is communicating both directly and indirectly to someone about how great a friend is so that someone or a group likes your friend more. The reasoning behind this is that they are uncertain of how nice is your friend. You provide social proof and build momentum or a “chain reaction” that gets others to like your friend. As long as you’re not egotistic and not obvious you are boasting about your friend, this technique should work. Another example of social proof in social situations is provided later on.

If you are running a training program, you can ask certain people beforehand to do what you want when the time is appropriate. This tactic has unethically been used by multi-level marketing companies at seminars. They have “set up individuals in the crowd” to rush to the back of a room and buy the companies product when the public speaker announces the audience can now buy their books, audio, or video programs. The tactic can set off a stampede of people. I don’t recommend you use any influential technique unethically. It’s up to you on how you decide to use each principle of influence.

Popularity and Dating

If you are a guy or girl interacting with a person or group of people, you can leverage the situation and have them provide social proof to you through your body language. When a guy approaches a girl, a very common mistake is poor proxemics (positioning of the body). An unconfident guy will stand still while the group he is approaching remains seated. He places himself out of position which makes him look desperate and needy. If the guy were to make good use of proxemics, he would position himself such that it looks like the group he approached wants to talk to him. He subtly rearranges the group or manages to get himself in a more dominant position to build social proof. In The Game, author Neil Strauss achieved this when he approached two women at a bar who were facing the bartender. He lent against the bench between the two ladies instead of standing which allowed him to be more dominate in the situation and improve his social proof.

The law of proximity, a Gestalt laws of perceptual organization, states that objects near one another are grouped together. When we see groups of people together, we treat them in a collective manner. A guy who is with a celebrity will appear more desirable to both guys and women. The celebrity boosts the guy’s image purely through the law of proximity. Being in proximity to certain people increases your social proof.

Another tip you can use, that deals with rearranging the situation to increase social proof, is to purposefully influence those who are similar to the people you would like to influence. This is perfectly demonstrated by good testimonials for a company’s product or service. By ensuring those who are giving testimonials to be similar to potential customers, social proof is injected with steroids! As was discussed in the principle of liking, we like those are similar to us. The similarity leads to less resistance and increased compliance. When you observe someone in a similar situation to you who is similar to you, social proof and liking two very strong influential forces at work.

Overcome Fear

Social proof is a useful tactic to overcome fear. The principle of social proof is effective when we are uncertain. As fear is often built from uncertainty and not knowing what could happen or thinking something bad could happen, observing someone else confront the fear we have provides proof and certainty that the situation is safe.

As is true with social proof in general, you will be more likely to overcome a fear through social proof if the person or persons you are observing are similar to you. A 30 year old professional male who has a fear of public speaking will be more successful in using social proof to overcome his fear if he were to observe another 30 year old professional male speaking in public at a similar event. If the guy was to observe a high school captain giving a talk at a school assembly, he won’t gain much confidence from observing this situation.

Overall, social proof has many powerful applications to influence people. You can use social proof to have more people see you as their leader, boost your likability, increase the opposite sex’s attraction towards you, and overcome fear, to name a few useful situations this influential principle is powerful. By using the principle of social proof, your persuasive power will increase and you will be more able to get what you want.

If you’re reading this right now and you enjoyed this free course I’ve written for you on influencing people, then you probably would like to return the favor like many people already have. You can give a donation or invest in my communication secrets of making people like you program. Thanks.

Links in this Course: The 6 Principles of Influencing People

• Introduction to Influencing People
• 1. Commitment and Consistency
• 2. Reciprocation
• 3. Scarcity
• 4. Authority
• 5. Liking
• 6. Social Proof

You can download this entire course in a neat report format by right clicking here and selecting “save target as”. You can keep a copy safely on your computer. The report is in .pdf format so you will need this free software to view it.

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I'm creator of a highly praised program called "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You". You can read about it here and order it here.