5 Truths About Fear: What Fear Doesn’t Want You To Know
20 February 2008 | 9:23 | Confidence, Happiness, Inspiration, Success | 44 Comments
We fear being alone; we fear being crowded. We fear the doctor; we fear living with health problems. We fear the opposite sex; we fear not knowing the opposite sex. We fear making decisions; we fear of not making an impact. We fear problems; we fear opportunities. We fear failure; we fear success. We fear job interviews; we fear unemployment. We fear asserting ourselves; we fear not asserting ourselves. We fear being pushed; we fear being pulled. We fear breaking up a relationship; we fear staying in the relationship. We fear meeting someone; we fear meeting no one.
Wow! Talk about a crazy list of contrasting fears! The truth about fears is they are crazy and irrational. What fears do you experience which you think are unique to you? What are the fears that drive you crazy?
As you’ve seen in the beginning of this article, we fear one side of the story while at the very same time we can fear the other side of the story. It is possible to fear talking to someone new, and fear not meeting new people, at the same time because fear hides the truth.
The experiences fear gives you are a smoke screen. It makes you irrational. Fear hides the truth from you. Literally, the acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear doesn’t want you to know the truth about itself and yourself.
The fears we experience are immobilizing. They paralyze us from taking action and achieving what we want. We can want something, but fear sends what seems like the equivalent of a massive electromagnetic pulse through our body as it shuts down our physical functioning.
According to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, there are five truths about fear. Whatever it is you fear, provided that the fear is not physically dangerous like doing drugs, the following five truths apply:
Truth #1
The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
Our ancestors experienced fear because they were threatened from dangerous animals or life threatening environments. Fear has its evolutionary purpose as it serves to protect. Whatever it is you fear, the fear tricks you into thinking it is danger. It tells you the thing you fear will cause pain. It tricks you into thing you won’t be able to handle it.
Don’t be one of those people who expect to live a fearless life. As Thomas Leonard so bluntly and wonderfully put it, “Fear is natural. Be with it.” Fear can, and will, diminish in the things which you immerse yourself. However, once you explore new unknown territory, new fears will arise. I know it isn’t nice to hear that, but I’m hear to tell you the truth about fear that fear doesn’t want you to know. It is far more comforting and exciting to experience growth and live in fear than to live paralyzed by fear.
Truth #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
Truth number two sounds contradictory to truth number one, but be assured that both truths are still truths. Fear will always exist in your life, but it doesn’t have to exist in the things that you do. When we do the thing we fear, whether it was a facade or not, we come to build confidence in our ability to handle the situation. Fear decreases.
We fear because uncertainty looms in our ability to handle what gets delivered to us. “Fear comes from uncertainty.” said William Congreve. “When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.”
Anthony Robbins said, “Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain.” Action will conquer fear any day of the week, month, and year of your life. By acting in the face of fear, you transform the uncertain into the certain as the unknown becomes known.
Truth #3
The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
When filled with a fear, we reason to ourselves that we will take action when we feel better about ourselves. “When I’m ready, I’ll…” “If I can… then I’ll…” “I’ll wait till I’m…” Stop waiting for whatever it is you are wanting to change. Change your ability to take action.
While self-esteem boosts you ability to take action, go the quicker and more direct route: take action to boost your self-esteem. The feelings of confidence will then build on themselves, like a good financial investment, leading to more and more positive feelings about yourself. Stop wanting to be a fearless public speaker before doing public speaking. Do public speaking to be a fearless public speaker.
The myth of truth number three, “I’ll feel better about myself before doing it”, is reverse thinking to the truth. You will not feel a better person, or have more self-belief in your ability, until you do the thing which you fear. It is when you dive into action that you begin to feel good about yourself; not the other way around.
Truth #4
Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
It is very comforting and reassuring to hear truth number four. Reassuring statements have a danger to delude one from reality and the hard truth. Nonetheless, it is truth that everyone else experiences fear in unfamiliar territory. Every public speaker and writer I have known suffers, or suffered, from fears and insecurities of the judgments of others.
Fear is hardwired into the human mind. Fear wants you to think that your fears are unique psychological problems. Fear is an educational problem. Draw comfort from knowing that those around you, and those who you envy, also experience or once experienced the very fear you feel is unique to you. It is the insecurities we feel and deem unique to us that unite us.
Truth #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
Although fear encompasses uncertainty, the certainty of living a fearful life is more scary. The fear of being ill is more scary than seeing a doctor. The fear of having a divorce is more scary than addressing a tough relationship problem. The fear of having no friends is more scary than approaching someone. “Courage is not the absence of fear,” said Ambrose Redmoon, “but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”
Repeat each of these truths at least 20 times every morning and night. When you continually affirm the truth, you will accept it as truth. You will no longer be tricked by fear. I’m excited to have finally revealed the truth about fear to you.
Don’t let fear fool you. It is after all False Evidence Appearing Real. Follow the five truths in this article and you will see the light which fear hides from your eyes. The truth exists, you just need to see it. Live a fear-filled life!
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Hi Joshua,
This write up on the truth about fears is marvelous and inspiring. There are many who leave in fear in doing that which the society will accept without criticism but the truth is that you can never never be 100% accepted by the public. Some will be impressed while others will not.
The truth when known shall definitely set you free.
Thanks.
Regards,
Babatunde
Some people feel even COMFORTABLY in “living with fear”.
They became so used to it that when they have no fear (I mean an excessive fear)they have “fear because of having no fear”.
Do you think I´m this kind of person? Never more. I´ve used to behave like this and suddenly ceased with it – I dared having not only excessive fear but “all the fear”.I know the other extreme is not good as well, but presently I am not able to feel any fear…my life experiences tauhgt me that.
Hello my GREAT Friend Joshua,
I think it will be better to comeover fear with some spiritual technique, well i beleive so. Fear comes from what is truely called REACTIVE MIND, so it does effect the ANALYTICAL MIND. Have you ever heard of DIANETICS??? They have the very right and true solution for fear. I have personally experienced the course. Just try it out!!!
Warm Regards
Waseem, Karachi
Research shows that most of our fears are on things that don’t realy exist. This kind of publication could save one from the dangers emanating from mr. fear. I am just learning to conquer fear, and this is of great need to me. Thanks Joshua.
Thank you guys for contributing your thoughts about fear
Waseem, I’m not familiar with Dianetics. I’ve just looked into it, and like you said, it seems powerful. Some people hate it, but others love it.
In a few months I hope to demonstrate the Emotional Freedom Technique on video
Excellent Article!
Fear is the biggest enemy that we generate for us.
Thanks for giving the weapon to defeat it.
Hullo my friend Joshua! Fear is part of us which has failed many of us to exploit many aspects of life.We have ended up even casting the day we came out of our mothers’ wombs because of fear.But now you have revealed to us the truth about fear, i hope we shall have to do with it by doing things we fear to do, and am sure we shall succeced.
Hello my friend, fear is really a great enemy,and produces harm to our confidence.This was great,thanks and receive my appreciation
the article is very interesting and exciting.thank you for the truths that you share with us. they are really helpful in one or the other part of our lives
wow! what an interesting topic ! thank you dear Joshua . eager to more of your usefull articles . keep it up
Hey Friend, this is just wonderful, now i’ve learnt alot about fear, this alone has improved my confidence, am sure am going to achieve more now with the use of this tool.
B.rgds.
Moyosola
Thanks josh…really appreciate this article. In recent time I have been trying to overcome fears with some amount of success and this article will certainly go a far way in helping me. Thanks
hi joshua..
another brilliant piece of work from you.
this is the first article where i really had to sit back and think and rethink over and over again to finally absorb and retain all that is said. being a little timid myself..this article could not have been more apt.i am always at the threshold of deciding whether its fear that holds me back or is it the external frame of mind that i have influence my decisions.. i have often been in difficult and tricky situations and felt the gigantic task of taking the right decision..im sure ur article will influence my thinking process and help me with the clarity needed to take meaningful decisions.. thanx and keep going..best regards.
bhavyata
Fear is very definitely with most people in society today – we do not fear wild animals – we fear wild people who believe they can get away with murder and lay the blame on abusive substances -”It wasn’t me; it was the drugs/booze/abusive upbringing/ that made me do it”.
A very sad state of affairs. Fear is: remaining in a fixed space in your head and not finding a way out.
hey…interesting findings my friend…might not agree wid u on living in fear… i play golf…. nd if u’ve played golf… u’d know ( esp while putting) tht fear is the real killer… so living in fear, not me……i’d rather look into DINETICS… if waseem could update me on tht course ..as i’m frm khi as wel… one thing tht has helped me get over my fear nd doubt in golf is ,,… to question my fear…have a dialogue wid my fear… nd being clear on my purpose…..i agree wid u on everything but” living in fear”… maybe some clearification may help me understand what ur trying to say…..regards …. humayun , karachi
Joshua,
This is really inspiring. I really appreciate the article.
I believe in the Bible, and in the Genesis account of when sin came into the world through disobediance, the very first response that Adam gave to God when God asked “Adam where art thou?” Adam responded: “I heard you calling but I was afraid”
Point: Mans first response to God was with and in fear.
A negative emotional response.
Thanks again.
Humayun, I have a special interest in golf and the psychology of it
because I use to play the frustrating game and my brother turned professional in 2007. I agree with you in terms of fear on the golf course. You really don’t want it because of the anxiety and tension it can create in your swing. Golf is more a case of focusing on routines, focusing on what you want, and zoning in which subsequently blocks out fear.
That’s made me realize that creating routines and rituals, gets you zoning in and focusing on what you need to do without the fear.
A lot of the fears we have are irrational and can be eliminated, but fear in every area of our life won’t be eliminated.
These were the basic truths which you have explained very well. But the most important is to be ambitious and enthusiastic about any purpose, dream or goals which will make us motivated to the extent that fear could be automatically ignored if not eliminated. I am interested in dianetics, please inform us about the same.
Dear Joshua,
This is a very great and inspiring article about fear!! It is obvious that fear is part of our lives.
Thanks for your helpful narrative about fear!!
God bless
Hi Joshua Dear;
I’m much impressed about your thoughts of fear today!
i’m loving it already
thank you so much for what u’ve been doing for me so far
Joshua,
I feel I’m getting more acquainted with this earthly life!I am prctically going through what you said – and I learnt a lot to handle it.
Thank you, hope to finish my degree course soon as possible to join more fervently.
Fear is a necessary part of our lives in that it draws our attention to the interactive parts of of life. We wouldn’t desire to live if it wasn’t for fear of death,to be successful if it wasn’t for fear of failure. What is important is to learn to handle fear. I agree with the point of living a fearfilled life rather than a fearless one because we continuously need to focus on the risky parts of our lives in order to come up with something meaningful.
josh, keep the good work up,
cos u are touching the lives of people and giving it a meaning and that i thing is one artibute of great men
Thanks josh. I understood that even though fear may enter our minds we should not let it dominate us. We should dominate fear.
the column is very helpful. I realized that i have let a lot of things to pass because i entertained so much fear. The blog made me feel more worth it. thanks. more power…
Fear is a torment. Once overcome, half of the battles of life are overcome. The exact opposite of fear is faith.
Hi Joshua,
Thanks a lot for such a fantastic and meaningful article.
always u surprise me by your informative article.
thanks a lot.
Hello Joshua,
Thanks the best gifts you’ve shared.
May God shines always his secret wisdom to you
and shared us more….
Thanks Joshua,
As Joyce Meyer always says…”Do it afraid.” Truth #3
I appreciate you not being afraid to share your thoughts as they have blessed me and others.
Blessings,
Dee
Hi Joshua,
I found your article spot on! I am definitely using this as affirmations whenever fear creeps in when I’m not looking with false evidence!
The truth shall set you free.
Keep it up. We can all all use it.
Gee.
hi Joshua,
I really like this web page and i will definitely use this knowledge in my life to improve my life quality and others life too, why not.
your articles are really wonderful as usual. You have widen my vision about fears. I really appreciate your efforts.
Hi again! Fear is natural but it also results from some education taught since an earlier age. AS CHILD If you do this or that you’ll… We can inherit fear from other people’s failures, too. Fear has also to do with personalities. How strong is your personality. Why do some people feel fearless under the effect of alcohol or some drugs? and why can they confront any danger? Darkness in mind can be the main cause of fear. Some blind people can lead themselves through deferent situations without any fear and there is no secret for that because they just not have any pictureS of the obstacles they run into. Our imagination increases the consequences and we suffer more than if we face the reality. It was said that the wise man knows what he does not know and the prudent man respects what he doesnt undestand. Endless thanks for your article Joshua. KEEP ON.
Hi Joshua,
Thanks very much for your free motivational lectures. I enjoy reading your articles and hope to share with as many friends as I can
Best regards.
John
Fear is the imagination of the unreal and giving it full shape and form and allowing them to torment us.Fear the becomes a social limiter and we develop low self esteem. Ignore fear and live a purposeful life.
Agwenge Awimbo.
Kenya.
Joshua,
I find your article interesting. Even though it is very good at building courage to confront your fear in a physical way, it doesn’t seem to touch on what I feel is the real truth about fear. Waseem touched on it when he spoke about the reactive mind. Fear always seems to follow my assumptions of what the future holds in any situation; which may be true. However, I won’t really know the truth of what the future holds until I encounter it. To me the truth is that I need to not fear what a situation may hold. Making assumptions of what a situation may hold is simply lying to myself since nothing I am thinking has occurred and, until it does, it won’t be true. A large percentage of what I assumed doesn’t materialize. It is true that fear may stem from our past experiences, but this too is only fuel for feeding an assumption of what the future might hold. Fear is a big part of our lives because most of us process the future in this way. I believe what the Bible holds as the truth. It teaches that we should not fear; this because we have a God who cares about us beyond human rational and He has complete authority over His creation. Thanks for stimulating my mind; I do enjoy reading your thoughts.
-Darin
Darin, exactly. We fear because of uncertainity and what the future holds (truth #4).
Thanks Joshua,
Fear is the barrier to achievements in life. It was inspiring to read your write up and get renewed on forging forward.
whoa! what a relief, may u keep publishing articles of this type. i now know that fear is my number 1 enemy
This has really given me a lot of courage to conquer my fears! Fear stops us from becoming the best that God wants us to be. I know that i am good when it comes to public speaking but that has been one of my greatest fear! People are really suprised when i speak because i am always the shy time and only speak when i really have to! Joshua, any comments????? Help a sister out!
this rejuvenize my mind…thank you so much! i can overcome my fear now..theres no harm in facing those…smile!