Improving Our "Signals" and "Beings"

As you have probably heard, over the last two years I have been developing a new program entitled: “Communication Secrets of Powerful People”. I have great news in saying the program is basically finished. It is jammed-packed with information on becoming a charismatic person who changes people’s minds.

Whether you are married, single, a manager, a parent, a student… whatever you are, the program will make you a powerful individual who communicates in a way that builds a strong connection with people.

At the moment I am putting the finishing touches on the program, which is where you come in.

I want to make sure I’ve covered everything about charisma and persuasion in this new program. I want you to be a powerful person who is in control of your relationships with people important in your life.

Please explain below the biggest challenge you have in these areas of your life. If it helps, feel free to tell a story of your situation to help explain the challenge. Provide as much detail as you can.

Simply use the form below to send your comment. Thanks in advance for your help!

This is a review of Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen’s Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most.

Have you ever struggled to negotiate something important to you like a pay raise? Have you ever felt anxious about talking something over with your partner? Are there issues in your life that you ignore because you’re too afraid to talk it over with someone? If you ever have talked about something difficult, are you sick of arguing, feeling ignored, and getting no where in the conversation? Difficult Conversations is the solution to these problems that you have been looking for.

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen have studied situations described by the above questions at the Harvard Negotiation Project. Their findings come from diverse fields of study like cognitive therapy, social psychology, and communication theory. After analysing, developing theories, and testing conversations that we find difficult to effectively communicate in, the end result is Difficult Conversations.

The complete framework of the book is made up of three separate conversations we have with ourselves and the other person, during tough conversations:

1. The “What Happened?” Conversation is

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Let me tell you an interesting story which you no doubt will relate to. One day I was walking the golf course, caddying for my older brother Nathan, a professional golfer, who was playing a regional qualifier for the Australian Open. He started the day strongly with a few shots under par, but the turning point came on the eleventh hole when he hit a bad two-iron from the tee on a par 4. Being a left-hander, he pulled the golf ball left where it ended out-of-bounds. Following that eradicate shot, his quality of play did not improve for the rest of the day.

At the end of the round, he had fail to qualify for the national tournament by two shots. In the clubhouse where we had a drink, we talked about what he did well and what he could have done better, “I was surprised by the quality of your chip shots and game around the greens.” I remarked. “Everything went within 2 meters of the pin.” Not to concerned about the disappointed day, Nathan replied, “Yeah, you’re right. My wedge game was strong today. Just…” to …

This is a book review of Napoleon Hill’s all-time international classic Think and Grow Rich!. It is the original version, restored and revised by Ross Cornwell, and fully annotated and indexed.

A simple Google search with “Think and Grow Rich” shows millions of results. Since publishing the book in 1937, when the Great Depression was at its strongest, Napoleon Hill has impacted, or rather created, personal development as we know it today. That is why I am reviewing the book: because its teachings are powerfully fundamental to any type of personal development.

Think and Grow Rich! is an accumulation into Hill’s studies of 500 of the world’s most successful people over a 25 year period. Hill studied, and was fortunate enough to develop relationships with many of, the likes of Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Gandhi, William Wrigley, Wilbur Wright, Theodore Roosevelt, Elbert Hubbard, Franklin Woolworth, John Rockefeller, Charles Schwab, and Alexander Graham Bell. Such a powerful study alone should be enough reason to buy the book. To tap into the minds of men who pioneered many things we have today is an irresistible opportunity.

Hill’s …

This is a book review of Dale Carnegie’s The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.

Dale Carnegie’s name is synonymous with How to Win Friends and Influence People. He is said to be a contributor to the start of self-improvement. Though The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking is not as popular Carnegie’s all-time classic, possibly because of its narrower market in public speaking skills, I believe it lives up to the author’s name. (If you have not read Dale Carnegie’s all-time classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, with over 16 million sales, you are missing out.)

Originally called Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business in 1931, Dale’s wife, Dorothy Carnegie, revised the book, and renamed it The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking, in 1962 with Dale’s notes and suggestions before he passed away. With many improvements made possible from the couple’s speaking experiences and the Dale Carnegie Organization, this book is a great primer in public speaking.

Having taught public speaking for 40 years, Dale Carnegie has transformed public speaking into a skill anyone can develop. He …

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou, poet and actress

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.” – Mark Twain, highly quoted writer

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” – Anonymous

“I am involved in all of mankind.” – John Donne, 16th century poet

One midnight, I had just finished another shift at a job I didn’t like so I was alive with energy. I smiled, my eyes were open, I felt good about myself. I said my usual goodbyes to a friend and sprung into my car. My friend reversed his car just before I had the chance to leave my car park so he had beaten me this time – it was an unspoken game that took place each time we left from work. I waited for him to get out of the …

This is a review of Carol Fleming’s The Sound of Your Voice, an audio program created to improve your voice.

What better way to improve the quality of your voice than to listen to a speech expert teach the skills she has learned for several decades. Since 1968, Carol Fleming as ran her private speech communication consultancy in the San Francisco Bay Area. Having earned her doctorate in communication disorders from Northwestern University, she has made her vocal techniques available in her entertaining audio program.

You can buy books on improving your voice, such as Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power, but until you hear a good voice and are able to break it down into specific reasons why it is good, you will be speaking in hope that your technique is correct. Understanding what is a good voice, the qualities of a good voice, and being able to transfer this understanding into your voice through practical exercises is vital – all things covered in The Sound of Your Voice.

The program isn’t a boring dictation of a book. It is an entertaining, well produced, free-flowing program. Fleming is …

This is a review of Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power: Using Your Voice to Captivate, Persuade, and Command Attention.

Have you ever wondered why some people can grab people’s attention and make them listen to their every word? If your voice isn’t as powerful as you want it to be, you can learn to make it resonate with a powerful clarity. Renee Grant-Williams will show you how in Voice Power.

Having worked with celebrities and singers such as Garth Brooks, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, and The Dixie Chicks, Grant-Williams has established herself as an authority on improving the human voice. You don’t need to be a singer or even a public speaker to improve your voice – having a better voice will help you whenever you say a word. Whether you’re disciplining children, motivating employees, seducing a partner, or teaching a workshop, a better voice helps get your point across and make it stick.

Voice Power isn’t about getting you to speak loudly. In fact, volume was mentioned rarely in the book. It is more about creating the support and resonance for a commanding voice that comes with little effort. The basis behind …

This is a book review of Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.

Neuroscience is quickly discovering that humans are wired to connect. Goleman in his groundbreaking books says that the neural linkages between humans influences the brain, and hence the body. These invisible bridges give us the ability to change people’s moods, emotions, and health, as these people can do to us. Relationships not only shape emotional states and general psychological experience, but also the very physiological matter that makes our body. Our interactions with people influences our immune system, circulation, hormones, and breathing for example.

Our ability to connect with fellow humans influences us in deep and immediate ways. Unlike emotional intelligence, social intelligence focuses on this intimate connection between two human minds. Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence focuses on skills and capabilities within the individual. It deals with self-motivation, self-awareness, handling anxiety, and reading social cues. Social Intelligence expands from the one-person psychology within an individual to a two-person psychology that looks at the connection shared between individuals. More specifically, Goleman defines social intelligence as: 1) social awareness, which comprises of primal empathy, attunement, empathic accuracy, …

Poor email etiquette. You’ve been a victim of it and perhaps you’re even a guilty criminal. From unknown abbreviations, forwarded chain emails, and unwanted messages, we’re all bound to be affected from bad email etiquette both socially and in the workplace. You can’t reach through your computer cables to retrieve a sent email, so you need to follow good email etiquette, commonly known as “netiquette”.

A USA Today article in April, 2008, reveals that Microsoft has 256.2 million users with Yahoo! not to far behind with a total of 254.6 million users. Additionally, with Google having 91.6 million users and AOL having 48.9 million users, it’s obvious the majority of people with Internet access use email as a way to communicate. Now for the real shocker: Tim Sanders, former Chief Solutions Officer of Yahoo!, estimates that 90% of business communication is email based and that 10% of email users receive adequate training. So chances are, your workplace and business is suffering from poor email etiquette.

While I never try to be overly professional in emails, because too much formality and jargon can destroy good communication, there are some …