- the effect of negative self talk

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In brief:
Your self talk can make or break you. A former Olympian tells his story of the effect negative self talk had on his sporting career. It was devasting. A few negatives words here and there you think may not affect your life, but self talk creates your thoughts and thoughts manifest into actions.

What are You Saying to Yourself?

Top achievers in every field understand that words have the power to condition the mind to succeed or to fail.

Whenever you say something, your mind tries to build a case for it. If you call yourself "stupid" the mind does a subconscious "Google search" on the word stupid and pulls up a list of every stupid thing you've ever done in your life. Now, you have the proof that you are stupid and you start acting that way. If you call yourself a winner, your mind pulls up all your winning moments. And you start acting like a winner.

In fact, if you are not getting the results you want out of life, it can probably be traced to your self talk. My friend Pete Hinojosa of teaches people that "What you say to yourself will influence what you think. What you think influences what you do. What you do all the time becomes your habits and your habits determine your results and ultimately, your destiny."

That's why you have to be very careful with whom you associate. You don't want to get any "second hand"; negative talk from the people you hang around with.

Top coaches will not tolerate having their players bad-mouthing themselves. They want to create an environment conducive to achieving peak performance; an atmosphere where success is in the air.

Sometimes, even Olympic athletes forget to watch their self-talk. My worst luge crash ever was a result of negative self-talk.

One year before the Salt Lake City Olympics, we were in St. Moritz, Switzerland training for a world cup race. We were training in the morning and the Italians were training in the afternoon. At the time, the Italians were the best. So that afternoon, I went to the track to watch the Italians train. I wanted to see what lines they took down the track. I wanted to learn from the best.

I went to the fastest point of the track, curve thirteen. Watching the Italians rocket down the track at over eighty-five miles per hour was unbelievable. Every time an Italian luger went by I would mutter to myself, "I can't believe I do that." Another luge would barrel down the track and I said to myself, "I can't believe I do that." For two hours, I said it over and over.

Up to that point, I had not had any problems at that track. I was just looking for a way to take my abilities to the next level.

The next day, on my first run, as I reached Curve thirteen, my mind reminded me, "That's right, Ruben, you CAN'T DO THAT!" And I froze; forgot to steer and I had a horrible crash. I broke my foot, broke my hand, and totaled my sled. End of season.

That was the lowest point of my luge career. At that point I didn't know if I would be able to go to the Olympics. I was hurt and I could not afford another sled, and it was all because a couple of hours of negative self-talk.

I had a pity party for a couple of days but eventually, as I was flying back home from Europe, halfway over the Atlantic, I got my head straight. I took a piece of paper and wrote, "This has been the worst year of my life; the most stressful and frustrating. I am being tested. I will pass the test. I have an opportunity to make an incredible comeback and show what I'm made up of." Then, I started saying to myself, "There is always a way. There is always a way. There is always a way. I will find a way, because there is always a way."

Repeating the phrase, "There is always a way," over and over, when you are facing obstacles, puts your mind in a solution-finding state. It helps you shift your focus away from the problem and into finding a solution.

And I did find a solution. I could not afford to buy another sled, but maybe I could borrow a sled. I started calling some of my best luge buddies and my good friend Adam Cook of the New Zealand Luge Team, loaned me his sled to qualify in the pretrial and race in the Salt Lake Olympics.

Watch what you say to yourself, and remember, there is always a way.

Comments

sr.merina
21 May 2006, 03:29

This is exactly correct. Self-talk has a lot of influence in our life.

Raphy
30 May 2006, 06:55

Well I believe being positive is the first step to success but what then follows the positive attitude?

Josh (EarthlingCommunication.com)
30 May 2006, 09:29

What follows a positive attitude? I can't answer that. Let me explain.

It's a bit like putting together a puzzle. There are strategies that you can use such as finding the corner pieces, matching the colours, etc. but there is no defined process. I haven't done a puzzle for years (to frustrating for me :-) ) but how you get to the end goal of putting all the pieces together does not matter.

It's that you reach your end goal of success (finish the puzzle) by using techniques such as positive self-talk (puzzle techniques such as matching the colors).

There is no one right-way to get from A to B. There are thousands of variables beginning with the person's situation that determines what techniques need to be used to reach point B.

If I had to say something follows a positive attitude, it would be perfecting that positive attitude so the positivety forms your thoughts, which as explained leads to actions based on the attitude.

I hope this has helped.

Ann
24 Nov 2006, 15:14

I have been going through a breakup, my ex has been playing with my feelings. One day he loves me and wants me back, can't live without me, my world is ok then. Then in a couple of days he is with this other girl, and she is the love of his life. We have a 12 year old son, and it is so hard. He has made up horrible stuff about me to the new girl, and harsh words have been spoken between us. I finally confronted him in front of this girl, and at first he lied, then he admitted somethings, but still lied. He then comes crying to me the next morning saying he only did it because I made him mad. I realized that him and i talk at each other, not to each other. I am devastated and broken hearted. Can positive thinking help me heal and move on?

Josh (EarthlingCommunication.com)
24 Nov 2006, 16:36

Sorry to hear that Ann.

It depends on your goals. Would you like to keep a relationship with him or are you trying to move on?

If you'd like to keep a relationship with him, do not make the mistake that positive thinking is a means of solving the problem. There's greater problems then merely being positive.

If you are going through a breakup, then thinking positively will definitely help you out such as thinking how you'll no longer experience the problems you had in your relationship. Thinking positively is about changing your perspectives on a situation. Also check out getting over a relationship break up.

Commenting has been disabled due to spam from automated programs. However, commenting on my blog is still enabled. Sorry for any inconvenience. There is some good news though. In July 2008, Earthling Communication will be transformed into an entirely new site where you will be able to talk with others about communication and personal development until your heart's content! That is only the shell of what you will get for free inside this new site. Subscribe to Earthling Newsletter for more information coming soon. - Joshua Uebergang (15 March 2008)

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