- tips for starting new and maintaining relationships

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In brief:
Here are ten great tips for interpersonal relationships. These skills will have greatest affect when you are in a new relationship or meet someone for the first time. While the focus of the article is centered on business communication, you can just as easily apply it to a friend. The commandents start off with a cheerful greeting and then is followed by the well know smiling uses less muscles then a frown. Use the ten interpersonal tips and you'll be making friends with people you only just met.

Empathy 101: Ten Commandments Of Human Relationships

These ten commandments of human relations aren't original to me, and I don't know the source. At the same time, they don't go out of style or out of date if you are in business. Everyone in your business must imbue their efforts with these commandments. They are required in every type of relationship be it marketing or selling to clients, providing customer support before or after the sale, working with and negotiating with vendors or your support team and of course internal to your organization.

These skills are not the sole domain of your designated human resource professional. In fact they should be part of your company's Hedgehog Concept (ref: From Good to Great by Jim Collins, http://www.jimcollins.com/lib/books.html)

As the leader of your team, go through these commandments and consider how well you and everyone on your team abides by them. Encouraging their use just might smooth some ruffled feathers or diffuse a tense situation.

1. Speak to People

There is nothing like a cheerful word of greeting. To really connect, look them in the eye as you speak.

2. Smile at People

It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile. They can hear the difference in your voice - even over the phone.

3. Call People by Name

The sweetest music to anyone's ear is the sound of his/her own name. Be sure you say it correctly. Say it often.

4. Be Friendly and Helpful

To have friends and build relationships, be a friend first.

5. Be Cordial

Sincerely speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure.

6. Be Genuinely Interested In People

You can like almost everybody if you try. They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Be sure they know how much you care.

7. Be Generous With Praise

Praise publicly, correct privately. Everyone wins this way.

8. Be Considerate

of the feelings of others. There are usually three sides to a controversy: yours, the other person's, and the right side. Keep ego and emotions in check.

9. Be Alert

to give excellent service. What counts most is what we do for others not ourselves.

10. Have a Good Sense of Humor

Don't take yourself too seriously. When you add lots of patience, and humility, you will have a recipe for enduring success.

Do you think these are soft skills you can brush aside as non-critical? Think again. In this Conceptual Age, a deeper understanding of the subtleties of human interactions becomes not only important but imperative. In fact, at the Stanford Business School, students are flocking to one of the newer courses called "Interpersonal Dynamics". Be sure everyone on your team masters the basics.

Comments

Malar
18 Apr 2006, 02:13

You can include information about "gentle touch" because it comforts and makes the person being touched feel more close and happy.

Josh (EarthlingCommunication.com)
18 Apr 2006, 08:48

In the business context of the article, I would avoid touching as it can be extremely risky in how the person would react. However, a gentle touch at the right time or even a hug to a more appropriate person is awesome. Share the love around.

dagroo
26 Jun 2007, 02:41

so what if others always expect you to be considerate, alert etc. and not reciprocating your effort? is there any point of saturation where enough is enough?

Joshua U (EarthlingCommunication.com)
02 Jul 2007, 10:14

It's your choice. Why hang around someone who is treating you like trash anyway?

Continue to do these good things yet I see no reason why you should stay.

Commenting has been disabled due to spam from automated programs. However, commenting on my blog is still enabled. Sorry for any inconvenience. There is some good news though. In July 2008, Earthling Communication will be transformed into an entirely new site where you will be able to talk with others about communication and personal development until your heart's content! That is only the shell of what you will get for free inside this new site. Subscribe to Earthling Newsletter for more information coming soon. - Joshua Uebergang (15 March 2008)

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