Happiness

In brief:
Since the World Cup started in 1930 at Uruguay, Australia has qualified for it in 1974 and 2006. In their second round match against Italy in '06, whether right or wrong, a harsh call from an Australian's point of view was made in the last 10 seconds to remove them from the event. You will learn about our awful habit of psychologically attaching ourselves to the past and letting go.

The World Cup and Learning to Let go

The 18th World Cup was enjoyable to watch. Behind the Olympics, the FIFA World Cup is the second most universal event. The world unites when the Olympics air every four years, while the world divides every four years when the soccer World Cup airs :-)

It's all about pride, glory, and bragging rights as nations compete in the most universal sport. It's insulting as people from other countries brag about how their country's team defeated yours! Pride is probably what's sparked me to write this as I saw my beloved Socceroos bow out of the World Cup after their best ever result.

Since the World Cup started in 1930 at Uruguay, Australia qualified for the event in 1974 where they lost every match remaining goalless the entire event. Early in 2006, Australia's streets were empty and there was silence through out the nation as they versed Uruguay for a place in the 2006 World Cup. We qualified for the World Cup a second time after Australia defeated Uruguay in the most exciting penalty shoot-out. The silence was shattered as every patriot, sport-loving Aussie roared in happiness.

Tim Cahill broke Australia's goalless World Cup history when he scored a double against Japan to lead his country to their first victory in the event. On top of the world, the Socceroos versed Brazil and were defeated 0-2 in what many sport commentators referred to as a match Australia outplayed the number one soccer nation. After tying against Croatia and moving into the second round of the World Cup, Australia faced soccer giants Italy.

The second round match kicked off and remained goalless for 92 minutes. In the 92nd minute and 50th second, with 10 seconds remaining in the game, Italian Fabio Grosso dribbled the ball into the penalty box. Australian Lucas Neill went to the ground as he tried to tackle the Italian, but a second later Fabio tripped (or FELL!) over the Australian defender. The referee, who shall remain nameless to preserve what little safety he has left, awarded the free kick. Francesco Totti then scored a lovely penalty shot to qualify Italy into the quarter-finals and to remove every Australian's dream of a World Cup quarter-final birth.

So why have I lectured you on a nation's soccer history you probably don't give a damn about?

A few days after experiencing my nation's dramatic soccer loss, I felt hopeless, empty, with a tonne of anger and frustration.

I know I'm being overly expressive about it all, but there are vital life lessons that you need to learn. I was aware of these lessons before experiencing my ‘soccer outburst’ but everyone needs to be frequently reminded of them.

Life, or soccer, gets the better of us most of the time. We let past experiences attach onto our backs and into our minds pulling our current actions and thoughts backwards. Our past experiences hold us back.

What I'm talking about is ‘letting go’ or ‘moving on’. It is often either:

My beloved Socceroos would have faced the control issue. In the last 10 seconds in what has taken over 76 years to happen, a harsh call was made and they were removed from the competition. The more I think about it, 39 972 106 minutes had passed since the first World Cup and the last 10 seconds determined the end result. The last 10 seconds!

Whether the call was right or not is beyond my point here. It is a harsh world. I couldn't agree more with "the worst thing, will happen at the worst time". The Socceroos, namely Lucas Neill, would be asking themselves "what if... what if this happened? What if I had done this? What if another referee was in the game?" I guarantee they would have been living in a false sense of control thinking about what they could have done to prevent the loss from happening by not letting go of history. They are after all, only Earthlings.

I on the other hand, was problem focused. The Socceroos had a superb World Cup and gained the respect as a soccer nation. But no! I complained and whinged for days, unable to move on. Argh! The game was 0-0 until the last 10 seconds! You can learn not only from my focus on the bad result, but also the pain I endured because I did not let go of the past.

Even if you think it's funny because I take the World Cup seriously, try and relate to how you dwell on bad results and don't let go of the past.

There's no way Australia is going into the quarter-finals so why have a little sulk about it? Remember the saying "there's no point crying over spilt milk"? I'm sure you would have heard of the saying before but our emotions dominate our logic, overruling our commonsense that history cannot be changed. Heck, I know this well and truly yet Australia bowing out of the World Cup infuriated me for days. We all need to be frequently reminded that history is exactly history. Nothing can be done about the past.

What you do need to take from the past is the lessons you learn. It would be foolish to make a mistake, endure the pain, and learn nothing from it to prevent the same problem from occurring again. I'm sure the Socceroos have learned from their World Cup experience.

What you don't need is to take the past with you by not letting go. This is similar to not forgiving someone for the pain they've caused you. You are willing to cling onto the unhappiness and pain of a past problem by not forgiving the person that hurt you. You live in truth and happiness by accepting what you can currently control through living in the present and letting go of the past. Nothing good happens with an unhealthy bondage to past negative events.

It's time to let go of the past that's been holding you back from living a full and happy life. Don't be afraid or lazy to comeback and read this as you're guaranteed to let your emotions dominate your logic and let history control your happiness again and again. Let go of the past and live in happiness.

I'm now happy for Italy and congratulate them in qualifying for the quarter-finals. The worst possible call from an Australian's point of view was made at the worst time. Australia didn't make it and I accept that. Congratulations Italy.

About the Author: Joshua Uebergang is owner of EarthlingCommunication.com where he teaches people effective communication and personal development. His work is recognised by communication, personal development, and psychology experts, authors, and public speakers. He encourages you to get the amazing benefits you can receive in your life from developing yourself and communication skills by getting your free subscription to his effective communication skills and self development newsletter by clicking here. Signup now and receive a special bonus.

Comments

Ruby

29 Jun 2006, 10:36

Joshua, thanks for sharing. You delivered the positive message to me. It's true but I think all of us needs to take some time to let go of the past. Most important is what we can really learn to avoid the past of problem happen again. Right?

Josh (EarthlingCommunication.com)

29 Jun 2006, 23:03

Yes Ruby. Your first comment about taking time to let go in some situations is definetly true. The biggest case where you'd benefit from taking time is grieving a loved one. No way should you try and emotionally let go as soon as possible in this case...but you eventually DO need to let go.

It greatly depends on what past exactly you are dwelling on. Using the grieving example, you could be not letting go of the person's unfortunate/accidental death. You'd be holding onto the fact the person wasn't meant to die, but it happened regardless. You cannot change that.

If the person unfortunately passed away, you can accept the accident and move on from that, but it is reasonable to not straight away move on from missing their presence.

I'd guess about 95% of the past we hold onto is an unhealthy attachment. It's about letting go of the things that are destructive to your happiness and well being. Such as yelling for days about a referee's call :-)

With regards to your second comment about learning from the past, true again. See the fifth last paragraph.

Mbugano

30 Jun 2006, 01:10

Joshua, thanks alot for this revellation to me...
I guess I've been a hot victim of what you have mentioned above about my past and I can assure you now... am going to change though it's a gradual process but I will get there.

Once again, thank you Josh.

Ruby

02 Jul 2006, 03:50

Joshua, thanks for your feedback. I agree with your comment. I'm still learning and trying to keep this mindset and attitude. I believe I can gain more from here.
Thanks again!

Commenting has been disabled due to spam from automated programs. However, commenting on my blog is still enabled. Sorry for any inconvenience. There is some good news though. In July 2008, Earthling Communication will be transformed into an entirely new site where you will be able to talk with others about communication and personal development until your heart's content! That is only the shell of what you will get for free inside this new site. Subscribe to Earthling Newsletter for more information coming soon. - Joshua Uebergang (15 March 2008)

- letting go of the past

The World Cup and Learning to Let go

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