- firstly take care of yourself

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In brief:
Rick tells his story and the life lessons he has experienced. In it he gives tips on taking care of yourself first, balancing your life, being happy, giving back to others, independency, and friends.

Taking Care of Yourself First

What about Me?

Through the journey of life, I realized that to be really happy you need to take care of yourself first. The balance needed to enjoy life has three components:

1. Peace of mind
2. Spiritual needs
3. Healthy lifestyle of exercise

I do not put any pressure on myself, a free spirit who does what needs to be done, does not care what others think or say, and reports to no one. I take care of myself first. Always keeping in contact with friends, family and making new acquaintances keeps me in touch with my human side. The most common misconception with putting yourself first is you have a selfish attitude. Taking care of yourself is vitally important to a happy survival and by no means selfish.

Keep in mind that if you are happy, you will treat others with respect and respect is earned, not given. By not being happy, you become irritable creating a tendency to disrespect others. Disrespecting someone only creates negative consequences and so amplifies your unhappiness.

If you feel you don't trust people, you are insecure in your own world and need to balance the three components of a happy life out again. If you are worried about what everyone else is doing, you also need to even the scales as this shows a failure to do what you need to be doing.

If you are married, you must be able to keep your identity, do the activities you love, and take care of your needs emotionally and physically. Don't fall into the trap of being detached from yourself by constantly focusing on fulfilling other's needs while ignoring your own. If you have children, there is no reason why you cannot take care of yourself first. Enjoy time as a family but step out, take a walk, take a class, or have lunch with friends every week as this balances your life and creates happiness.

Giving Back

Another tip for living a happy life is to give back from the heart through philanthropy, community work and efforts, and creating your own project.

I was one year old when my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. While growing up, I realized what a generous, courageous, and loving person my mom was by always putting her family first despite her pain and suffering.

I drew my energy off every positive person I met and kept in touch with them. By associating yourself with such people, you begin to mirror their traits. The same goes for mirroring the traits of unhappy and negative people. My life was not filled with happy people but I'm blessed and able to live my life as it was meant to be. A longtime friend of mine with MS and I talk about everything which gives me the opportunity to talk openly. She is very supportive, honest and a dear friend to this day.

My mom passed away in 1995 at the age of 75 from complications of MS. In 1997, I decided to create a scholarship program to remember my mom's "never give up" attitude and spread word to high school and college campuses that had a low awareness for MS. We are now in our seventh year at West Catholic, Catholic Central, and Kenowa Hills High Schools, and in our third year at Grand Valley State University. This dynamic program recognized as the most creative initiative for MS by students, teachers, and businesses in Michigan, is offered to all Michigan High Schools in September 2006.

I talk honestly about the connection of MS and depression, struggling to walk, spouses, and other life stories I have over my fifty one years of experience so people such as yourself who are reading this, draw energy and lessons from me.

Interests Reap Rewards

Your activities and interests are a great spin-off to give back to others and creates a chance to stay active in the things you love. Creating your own project is extremely rewarding, it expresses your creativity, and gives you support from so many people. It's a needed connection to do your own thing.

For twenty years, I enjoyed the adrenaline rush of indoor and beach volleyball playing in leagues and tournaments. As a way to give back to the sport, I created the Volleyball ‘Role Model’ Award sponsored by Schelde North America at West Catholic High School of which I am a proud graduate. A varsity player who shows that drive, spunk, determination, and enthusiasm for the sport is honored with a plaque annually. Also, I am working on adding a scholarship to this prestigious honor.

As one of the top math elementary educators in the Grand Rapids and surrounding school systems, and being passionate about Math and thinking that us Americans are extremely weak in the subject, I wanted to reward students who share the same love for math as I do. So with the help of Sandra Golembiewski, the math director at West Catholic, we created the Pythagorean Math Award.

I am also working on a scholarship program for West Catholic High School in West Philadelphia, PA, a spelling bee contest at West Catholic with a sponsor, and another new math award. By giving away, in essence you are looking after yourself first because you know you will reap interest from giving to others.

Be Your Own Person

Sometimes you will run into poor, inadequate, insecure, or incompetent bosses who want you to jump through hoops. Stand your ground because you need to take care of yourself first and do the right thing. Do whatever it takes to get the job done and if the boss is unhappy, remember that a great employee works hard, does not require other's approval to be happy, and is very proud at the end of the day.

The best boss I ever had was Ken Stanton, grounds supervisor at GVSU. Ken was honest, told it like it was, let me lead, let me do what I needed to do, and always gave me support. These are all signs of a great leader. I always thought and still do that Ken had the best management skills. He is a friend of mine today with integrity and total class.

True Friends

Friends are friends for life. They support you through good times and your rough times. If you meet someone who can't match up to being a "true to the heart friend", look further. This friend becomes an acquaintance and will not be there for you when you need him or her. We all need support in difficult and unhappy times. Acquaintances are plenty, but true friends will back you up, not back stab, criticize, judge your decisions, or second guess you.

Take charge, spread your talents throughout the community, lead don't follow, give back to others, and take care of yourself first.

Comments

Solomon Faibil
21 Aug 2006, 23:09

Very wonderful way of bringing happiness into oneself. I just read the material and it's great. Keep up the good work. Thanks.

angelblu2u
26 Apr 2007, 17:06

in search of something i lost with life's blows, thanks for the suggestions.

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