Tuesday, 7 October, 2008
“No one would talk much in society, if he knew how often he misunderstands others.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Conflict Management

- what if you're right in conflict

Effective Communication Skills » Conflict Management » But What If I Am Right?
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In brief:
I'm sure while arguing with someone you have said to yourself "I'm right. The other person is wrong!". What do you do if you are truly right when arguing with someone? If you're like most people in this situtation, you would try to tell them that you are right. By forcing your reason on someone else you will keep arguing. You must understand perception to solve this problem.

But What If I Am Right?

- by Maria Boomhower

"But What If I am Right and all of the facts point to it," he asked when I was talking about perceptions. I told him the challenge is most of us can pull out facts to prove we are right. And when we close ourselves off from there being any other possibility, we also close ourselves off from growth, prosperity and the ability to find a better way.

Perceptions can be very tricky for most people. They believe that what they see or think, that everyone else should see or think as well. The problem is that we don't see everything the same because of the way our brains work, the way we were brought up and the experiences that happened along the way.

As we are growing, we look around and try to figure out how to act and survive. We take on that in which we were exposed to. For example, one child may have seen that sitting down right away and discussing an issue was the best way, where as another child may have seen that shouting to be heard, then running and hiding until everyone calmed down was the better way.

Each has there own ingrained views on the world. Then when the person who believes that everyone should work out things immediately tries to force this on the person who believes that survival dictates running and hiding, you are going to have a conflict.

The problem is that we don't see everything the same because of the way our brains work.

Marianne Williamson stated that she also used to be stuck in the, "But, I am right" mode. A mentor said to her, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" She chose happy and her life has never been the same since. Success and prosperity is now the path she talks down.

I explained to the gentleman that one demonstration that I have used is to hold up a $5.00 bill. Any bill will work. I have two people facing each other and then I hold up the bill between them. I ask each person to describe what he or she is seeing. Each seeing a different side of the same thing, describes something very different. Each can show the facts to prove their viewpoint. Each person is right.

That is something else that many are just learning. Most believed in the old "dog eat dog" world viewpoint. And if you weren't right, then you were wrong. And if you were wrong, well apparently then, life was over.

Yet, many are understanding that it is not a right / wrong game. It is about being different and realizing that those very differences are what can enable you and your business to grow and flourish. We all have our own talents, whether it is for business, accounting, marketing or technology. When we come together, we can create something wonderful.

And our brain? Well they don't like us to be wrong and think that we need protection. You see your brain has many filters, which blocks and removes most of the information around us. Some of this is to stop information overload. Some is so that we can spot what is important. The challenge with this, is that your brain won't let you see what you don't believe. For example, if you believe that only teenagers cause trouble, you will ignore all evidence to the contrary. This is why police can have such difficulty with witnesses. One person or event can have a multiple of descriptions.

When dealing with differences of opinions and viewpoints, it's important to remember that it doesn't mean that you have to agree or even accept what the other person is saying. It simply means that you are willing to see the different possibilities. That you are open to additional information that can help not only you about also the people around you.

And with more information, you create more informed decision for improved, growth, prosperity, health and peace of mind. You may even amaze yourself at what you can learn and discover.

About the Author: Maria Boomhower known as The Master Communicator. has won awards for excellence in her field. Her background includes supervision, training, video productions, photo journalism and running sub-press centres. Maria also spent several years studying metaphysics and quantum theories, which enabled her to bring in the human aspects of communication and perceptions to assist people in overcoming their barriers. You can find out more at:www.falconfreedom.com
To grab a copy of her ebook, go to: Perceptions-Understanding What you are Really Seeing.

Comments

Ruby
03 Jul 2006, 10:45
Yes, we have to learn how to accept / consider other people's point of view because all of us do not easily agree due to our mind concept. I will bear this in mind. Thank you.
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